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Final Hours
Contributed by
bobotheclown
on
Monday, 26th September 2005 @ 11:13:19 PM in AEST
Topic:
Suicide
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The years passed me by
Dipped in sorrow's flames
Happiness eluded my frail eyes
Guided numbly through the years
Feeling nothing in this empty heart
Sun eternally darknened by the clouds
The knife kissed my veins with its sharp touch
And soon my perpetual winter will end
The blood streams down my arms
And drips off my fingertips
The black curtain has finally dropped
I live my final hours with no regrets
Only determination is reflected in my eyes
Determination that this must end
I look towards the stars
And soon I will soar with them
With every frost singed breath
I grow closer to the end,
Yet I feel nothing
Just the emptiness that clouds my meagre existence
And the pain that drove me towards the end
I live my final hours with no regrets
Copyright ©
bobotheclown
... [
2005-09-26 23:13:19]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Final Hours
(User Rating: 1 )
by heartless_soul on
Tuesday, 27th September 2005 @ 04:54:35 AM AEST
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a Message)
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wow, if you ask me this is good. you used words and portrayed emotions very well. I know what you mean, but thats what the scars are there for, to show us that those things did happen.
this was very well writen and I do hope that others will feel the same thing but are able to express these feelings better them I). I do hope that you are not thinking about this and if you are please do get help. if no one else you can PM me. please do keep writing its good to read those who can write so good. Be well
*H_S* |
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Re: Final Hours
(User Rating: 1 )
by emphaticplacebo on
Tuesday, 27th September 2005 @ 06:07:59 AM AEST
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a Message)
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You succeeded yet again with your poetry Joel, this is a truly profound write in the subject of the human condition.
I could absolutely relate to the subject matter and you word it so very well. The lines are full of in-depth turmoil and emotion.
Thanks for giving another awesome write
Dan
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Re: Final Hours
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on
Tuesday, 27th September 2005 @ 01:29:59 PM AEST
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a Message)
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A man of quality.....not quantity....that's what you are!! Once again you have written a very profound piece of poetry... Well done, Joel..
Hugs
Jenni |
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Re: Final Hours
(User Rating: 1 )
by ArsenicMyst on
Wednesday, 28th September 2005 @ 01:54:46 AM AEST
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a Message)
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very nice ...
your capturing the image of the girl on the bus
placing yourself into her soul
then by ecliptic transmission
relaying your memories merged with her for us
how complete in that you were
only she can say
as for me ... in that light ... it is very good work
and honest in its finality
Arsenic *`·.¸·:
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Re: Final Hours
(User Rating: 1 )
by FleurdeSang on
Wednesday, 28th September 2005 @ 07:39:34 PM AEST
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a Message)
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You have a wonderful gift on looking through another's eyes, and expressing what they must keep hidden... Absolutely beautiful, and sorrowful. As always, another poetic masterpiece by none other, :-). Love it, deary, love it love it love it!! ^_^ Please write again, I always enjoy reading your work. Flawless piece. Very inspirational. Thank you for sharing with us! All my love,
Forever,
Stephy! |
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Re: Final Hours
(User Rating: 1 )
by Nessa_Lee on
Wednesday, 28th September 2005 @ 08:04:40 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Absolutely wonderful! A really great piece, keep it up!
~*~nessa_lee~*~ |
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Re: Final Hours
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Thursday, 13th October 2005 @ 03:19:15 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Joel, you really do have that wonderful touch in you for observing the things around you.
Your a great poet and it shows in this write. Keep them comming.
Jane~ |
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