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thoughts that kill
Contributed by
hopefades
on
Thursday, 22nd September 2005 @ 02:48:16 AM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
trapped
in deep thought
she sits in the corner
trying to get the voices out of her head
things that she thinks about keep playing over and over
why cant she just make them go away
she doesnt know what to do
closed up
she sits as she feels like bug are crawling under her skin
feeling empty and alone
like no one is there
to save her from being eaten alive
these thoughts are killing her slowly
and she doesnt know what to do
shut down
she sits on her bed in an insomniatic shadow
trying to close her eyes to fall asleep
she cant ..to much thoughts
opened eyes the whole night threw
she trys to solve her problems
but she doesnt know what to do
Copyright ©
hopefades
... [
2005-09-22 02:48:16]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: thoughts that kill
(User Rating: 1 )
by yellow_sundragon on
Thursday, 22nd September 2005 @ 03:46:48 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| I really like this, I love the use of spaces to slow the poem down.... and I like how you employed mini headings to kinda give the reader a preview of what the stanza was about.... great write! |
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Re: thoughts that kill
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 22nd September 2005 @ 04:27:45 AM AEST
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a Message)
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What a sad, yet unique poem. Very very good. I really liked it. Keep up the great work.
I hope that if this a true poem that this person gets better and things start looking up.
Take care
Tim
:) |
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