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mistaken identity

Contributed by igba on Tuesday, 20th September 2005 @ 09:19:23 AM in AEST
Topic: oops



Even the air stood still
You could touch the silence
That enveloped the noisy bar
As mouths were agape
when you made your glorious entrance

Unwilling to acknowledge superiority
Your gender turned bright green
Men traded looks,insults and blows
Just to make an impression
radiating smiles,you declined company

As your gaze sweeps the bar
it rests on ,no! not me?
I struggle for air
As my lungs seemed inactive
Such was your effect

Favoured by your gaze
Encouraged by your smile
Frightened out of my wits
At the possible thought of rejection
i approached timidly

With sinking heart ,i froze
As i followed your gaze
Realising too late
Your gaze and smile was meant
For the guy behind me




Copyright © igba ... [ 2005-09-20 09:19:23]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: mistaken identity (User Rating: 1 )
by WAE on Tuesday, 20th September 2005 @ 09:23:36 AM AEST
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A nice one. I enjoyed it...
Alex


Re: mistaken identity (User Rating: 1 )
by remote on Tuesday, 20th September 2005 @ 09:26:41 AM AEST
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What an anticlimax, happens to the best. Good write.


Re: mistaken identity (User Rating: 1 )
by Archie on Tuesday, 20th September 2005 @ 10:11:19 AM AEST
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Yea I'm half laughing at this. You did a good job of holding the read's attention to the end.


Re: mistaken identity (User Rating: 1 )
by xxbreathlessx on Wednesday, 21st September 2005 @ 09:40:39 PM AEST
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wow, what suspense and such an unexpected ending! but at least the experience made out for a fantastic poem!




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