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mistaken identity
Contributed by
igba
on
Tuesday, 20th September 2005 @ 09:19:23 AM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
Even the air stood still
You could touch the silence
That enveloped the noisy bar
As mouths were agape
when you made your glorious entrance
Unwilling to acknowledge superiority
Your gender turned bright green
Men traded looks,insults and blows
Just to make an impression
radiating smiles,you declined company
As your gaze sweeps the bar
it rests on ,no! not me?
I struggle for air
As my lungs seemed inactive
Such was your effect
Favoured by your gaze
Encouraged by your smile
Frightened out of my wits
At the possible thought of rejection
i approached timidly
With sinking heart ,i froze
As i followed your gaze
Realising too late
Your gaze and smile was meant
For the guy behind me
Copyright ©
igba
... [
2005-09-20 09:19:23] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: mistaken identity
(User Rating: 1 ) by WAE on
Tuesday, 20th September 2005 @ 09:23:36 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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A nice one. I enjoyed it...
Alex |
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Re: mistaken identity
(User Rating: 1 ) by remote on
Tuesday, 20th September 2005 @ 09:26:41 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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What an anticlimax, happens to the best. Good write. |
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Re: mistaken identity
(User Rating: 1 ) by Archie on
Tuesday, 20th September 2005 @ 10:11:19 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Yea I'm half laughing at this. You did a good job of holding the read's attention to the end. |
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Re: mistaken identity
(User Rating: 1 ) by xxbreathlessx on
Wednesday, 21st September 2005 @ 09:40:39 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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wow, what suspense and such an unexpected ending! but at least the experience made out for a fantastic poem! |
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