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Watch Your Back, She's After You...
Contributed by
eternal_dreamer
on
Monday, 19th September 2005 @ 06:18:25 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
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'Twas darkness that beaconed
Her long lost broken heart
The devil snickered with pleasure
As you devoured her every part
Fate had her endure
An eternity of abuse
Now her fragile dead body
Bears the scars of misuse
The holler of the wind
Screams out your blackened name
Now she has come
To finally play her game
Her game, Her rules
She'll play, She'll win
Watching you suffer as you die
Will make her wear a grin
She's after you
For you put her in her grave
She's on a man hunt
It's your blood she craves
Watch your back
She wants to claim a part
For when she catches you
She's going to rip out your heart
Just when you thought
That you've gotten away
Think twice baby
For she's headed your way...
Copyright ©
eternal_dreamer
... [
2005-09-19 18:18:25] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Watch Your Back, She's After You...
(User Rating: 1 ) by Archie on
Monday, 19th September 2005 @ 06:56:13 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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This is definately dark poetry. I would not want to be the one she's after. I think I will stick to the role of peace maker. |
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Re: Watch Your Back, She's After You...
(User Rating: 1 ) by hauntedscorp on
Monday, 19th September 2005 @ 09:57:00 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Dark works for me : )
Well Sue, this one hits home in so many ways, and I think you did an excellent job portraying this woman's emotions and resentment...
and lust for vengeance: )
I like the rhyme scheme too. Wonderfully emotive. Great write!
Scorp. |
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Re: Watch Your Back, She's After You...
(User Rating: 1 ) by MorningDove on
Monday, 19th September 2005 @ 10:01:19 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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whoaaaa, I don't think I have ever read a dark poem from you before. Well, generally I avoid them. This drew me because I saw your name and didn't see the topic, lol. I started to read and had to stop and back up to see who I was reading. As ghastly as it is, it is a terrific write, Sue. You go, girl!
Hugs,
Rita |
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Re: Watch Your Back, She's After You...
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 20th September 2005 @ 12:33:08 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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A most worthy peice of darkness and peek
in2 the macarbre, lovely as all the rest, a true poetic work of dark art . . .
(((((sue)))))
Ben |
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Re: Watch Your Back, She's After You...
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 20th September 2005 @ 06:02:44 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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fantastic write as always Sue ,,you got the catagory right,,its dark but damned good,,yer a star,,hugs Eddy |
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Re: Watch Your Back, She's After You...
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 20th September 2005 @ 10:49:59 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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This is one scary poem, I would say it is very, very dark. Yes, and I will keep an eye out for her, I won't want to get in her path. Lets bury her again lol.
Magnificent write.. my fears of laughter is on the move. You sure can write wonderful poetry Sue, I have enjoyed every one, I have read. I can't wait for more. Huggs
Your reader,
Raquel Leah :D |
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Re: Watch Your Back, She's After You...
(User Rating: 1 ) by Wachumiri on
Wednesday, 5th October 2005 @ 08:51:40 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Dark indeed. Well written, though it seems to me to be slightly out of your style. Traveling new grounds?
Take care.
David |
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Re: Watch Your Back, She's After You...
(User Rating: 1 ) by ChibiMiroku on
Wednesday, 12th October 2005 @ 10:59:42 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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You think you can take me, baby?
Just come play my game
We'll see just who's stronger
And just who's more tame....
=X
"LETZ GO!" -'Lil Jon.
Words to live by.
Awesome poem, all the same. Almost scared me, for a moment! |
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Re: Watch Your Back, She's After You...
(User Rating: 1 ) by emystar on
Wednesday, 16th November 2005 @ 04:37:08 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Wowwwwwwwww!!!!!!!
I'm speechless.
Awesome writing as always.
huggs,
emy |
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Re: Watch Your Back, She's After You...
(User Rating: 1 ) by Man_On_High on
Saturday, 4th February 2006 @ 12:16:05 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Delisciously dark my Sue!
though in my experience..I can easily find it,
metaphorically speaking, that a woman scorned
always gets his man...either literally or throungh
the magic of karma..
I'm not used to this side of you..
But daddy like-...lol
All my love,
Billy |
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Re: Watch Your Back, She's After You...
(User Rating: 1 ) by robertdavidson on
Tuesday, 7th February 2006 @ 10:59:43 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Eternal Dreamer.
Well, you'd be struggling to find a more darker poem than this. It's in the right category. A very intense emotional write about a wronged girl seeking her revenge, which I'm sure she'll get. You built up the suspense well through finely-chosen words
and a smooth verbal flow.
Robert Davidson.
http://www.robertdavidson.blogsource.com |
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