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Ribbon
Contributed by
seci
on
Sunday, 18th September 2005 @ 02:57:17 PM in AEST
Topic:
InternetLove
|
in a ocean of love is where i have fallen
you and i are destine
the emotion of us 2 together
the stream the runs through my vains which feels like heaven
the bond between us 2 can't be broken but only deepen
whispering sofly in my ears,
Damn
a light as a candle u have brighten
my passion 4 u has been driven
i can't , i won't, let our love be forbidden
lets grow old 2gether and raise a house full of children
first time being in love i see
come close and love me
the bond the we share
i for u truly care
this is destine
like stevie wonder , this love is a bond of a ribbon
Copyright ©
seci
... [
2005-09-18 14:57:17]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Ribbon
(User Rating: 1 )
by Mild_Tempest on
Sunday, 18th September 2005 @ 03:27:08 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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| Utterly romantic. It had a sense of completion. Wonderful write. |
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Re: Ribbon
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 18th September 2005 @ 04:29:16 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| When you love somebody put their name in a circle a heart can break but a circle goes on forever. SLipSiX. |
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Re: Ribbon
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Monday, 19th September 2005 @ 03:15:01 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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This flows very well, and has an original feel. It would be better, I think, if the spelling were perfect, and such things as "2" were replaced by their true selves. I feel that adds a respect for language that real poetry needs.
But this is good! Do keep at it.
Andrew |
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