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My Secret Keep
Contributed by
Nazmythian
on
Friday, 16th September 2005 @ 03:28:47 AM in AEST
Topic:
ambiguous
|
I’ve grown up within these walls
They have grown tall within me
Providing needed shelter
Much desired security
Many rooms exist down corridors
I have even yet to see
Reminiscent of a prison
Though I want not to be freed
I know each nook and cranny
Intimately it would seem
This self-effacing vision
Of a world within a dream
I greet most people at the gate
Let in the ones I deem
Can teach me some of life and love
And lesser mundane things
Visitors have come and gone
Some lingered for awhile
Many left behind some trace
That was meant to bring a smile
Introverted introspect
Remains here to beguile
Still others come, their soul intent
Is only to defile
There have been those deceivers
Seeking treasures still unknown
Once their intent has been revealed
Walls grow taller with their bones
I leave them there as evidence
So others may be shown
That though they may be welcomed
Transgressions must be atoned
Precious few come with the power
To unlock once hidden doors
I await that one with patience
Willing to fully explore
Beyond my many challenges
Whose dangers they ignore
So that I, within my secret keep
Will be alone no more
Copyright ©
Nazmythian
... [
2005-09-16 03:28:47]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: My Secret Keep
(User Rating: 1 )
by remote on
Friday, 16th September 2005 @ 05:26:45 AM AEST
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| Lovely write, clear flow of thoughts, presented very well. |
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Re: My Secret Keep
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rxqueen on
Friday, 16th September 2005 @ 10:54:44 AM AEST
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| Oh my! You gave me goose bumps, for real!!! This was so deep and so utterly beautiful and amazing! I read it twice, outloud... You have created something very intense here. I love the metaphors. I love every line of this poem. Do I sound like a groupie? lol. This is perhaps my favorite of yours. I would have to go back and re read them all, which is a tempting option, but for now I will say it is! OK I loved how you say you want not to be freed. you are safe in your walls, and you can chose who comes in. You make careful decisions, but like all of us you make mistakes here and there and let in people who are not after what they say. But you learn from your mistakes and make it know to others you are stronger now. And the last stanza !GASP! tears in my eyes! SO beautiful! I really loved this one. Excellent work as always!!! XOXOX |
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Re: My Secret Keep
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 16th September 2005 @ 12:06:40 PM AEST
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Well Nazmy, that was, sort of in a way what i had in mind. Though not nearly with the detail you provided. If i helped inspire this with two little words, i feel honoured. i feel like i should be thanking you though instead.
D.Sapelo |
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Re: My Secret Keep
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Friday, 16th September 2005 @ 12:14:34 PM AEST
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very deeply written, I felt every word
*hugs*
pix xx |
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Re: My Secret Keep
(User Rating: 1 )
by brew on
Friday, 16th September 2005 @ 12:22:39 PM AEST
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Well, structured, written and deep write. Yes, reading ones, that you can feel..............simply wonderful.
Brew~
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Re: My Secret Keep
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Saturday, 17th September 2005 @ 02:28:54 AM AEST
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Well done! I like the style, descriptive and powerful.
Methinks we all have keeps like this, in various states or repair or disrepair. Some shore up their walls constantly, while others knock them down. Some (like myself) do both, somehow...
*ponders*
Excellent work.
Andrew |
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Re: My Secret Keep
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stitch on
Saturday, 17th September 2005 @ 08:20:54 AM AEST
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Quite a write. I love the line about the bones---both the symbolism and the imagery of them.
Nice work.
Stitch |
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Re: My Secret Keep
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 17th September 2005 @ 04:31:40 PM AEST
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Nazzy~
Oh my GOD, it's so good to read your poetry again! How I've
missed the intricate workings of the wizard of words...
You never fail to impress, Naz. So deeply profound is your
work that I find myself compelled to read it over and over.
Bravo, my friend, bravo!
~Breezy |
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Re: My Secret Keep
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 17th September 2005 @ 06:44:40 PM AEST
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I do think this is very likely your best work. Not quite as cryptic as some, maybe, but it seems to fully explore your growth and expectations of life. I like it a lot and sort of wonder what a portrait of this "keep" would look like. :-)
Blessings, J. |
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