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Nine Line Falsity
Contributed by
blue_angel
on
Thursday, 15th September 2005 @ 12:53:03 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
An immortal life in a futile existence
A credulity imprinted on my persistence
A fitful nightmare, infinite and true
Caress inflamed wounds, bloodied black and blue
In the end of it all my arbiter decides
Waving a talisman before my eyes
Prudentual sight, look for the eclipse
As all but assurance is cleansed from my wrists
Such a belied falsity spoken from my lips...
Copyright ©
blue_angel
... [
2005-09-15 12:53:03]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Nine Line Falsity
(User Rating: 1 )
by allowanceofthoughts on
Thursday, 15th September 2005 @ 01:17:04 PM AEST
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| The last two lines are my favorite. I like. Nicely Done! |
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Re: Nine Line Falsity
(User Rating: 1 )
by remote on
Thursday, 15th September 2005 @ 03:08:40 PM AEST
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| Almost every line is perfect by itself, there is pretty good flow of words, but the flow of thought/imagery is little lacking. Over all a good write. |
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Re: Nine Line Falsity
(User Rating: 1 )
by Shade on
Thursday, 15th September 2005 @ 06:04:51 PM AEST
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I love the choice of words and imagery the rythm feels effortless and unconstrained without loosing it's flow. I especially like the lines A fitful nightmare, infinite and true;
Caress inflamed wounds, bloodied black and blue |
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Re: Nine Line Falsity
(User Rating: 1 )
by anitajames on
Thursday, 15th September 2005 @ 09:32:29 PM AEST
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| This is a beautifully and artfully written piece. I am impressed by the maturity evident in your writing. |
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Re: Nine Line Falsity
(User Rating: 1 )
by sprinter27 on
Friday, 16th September 2005 @ 10:11:47 PM AEST
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lol. wow, jennie, i LUVED this! lol. nine lines... lol... mine was some horrible short nine line story about running... lol. hmm... maybe jennie can write poetry in High ELA this year for the class, not just IN it like last year, huh? lol. well, i enjoyed this one, jennie, so keep up the good work (whether in English or not! lol)!!
~sprints |
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Re: Nine Line Falsity
(User Rating: 1 )
by tweaks2004 on
Wednesday, 21st September 2005 @ 01:25:20 PM AEST
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Line three and four are my fav. i love the write ill have to look into more of your poetry.
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