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Torn Rose
Contributed by
sprinter27
on
Saturday, 10th September 2005 @ 09:42:10 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
I hold this torn rose in my hand
And realize it’s like how my heart stands
All torn and all worn, broken to the last bit
I look at the torn rose and feel sorry for it
This torn rose is barely able to cope life
It’s having trouble fighting in this strife
Oh, it is exactly like my heart,
Ripped so much, torn apart
Faded and losing all of it’s red,
All of its petals falling to the bed
The last part of it is falling off
It’s hard for it to be any bit of tough
This rose is now extremely weak
The rose is on the edge of its peek
Drawing close to it’s very end,
Saying goodbye to all of its friends
Like my heart saying goodbye to its last days
Giving up to all, ready to get out of your way
Ready to just leave and isn’t mad
That you won’t be at all sad
Doesn’t care about how you and others
Never even took the time to bother
To try and help my little heart
Never watered it, just left it to fall apart
I hold this torn rose in my hand
And realize it’s like how my heart stands
All torn and all worn, broken to the last bit
I look at the torn rose and feel sorry for it
Copyright ©
sprinter27
... [
2005-09-10 21:42:10] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Torn Rose
(User Rating: 1 ) by hauntedscorp on
Saturday, 10th September 2005 @ 10:53:58 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Hmmm...I like the symbolism and heart to rose comparision in this write, and near the end especially, the flow was good. Your character came across more fragile in this piece though, and I prefer your more willful nature, as it's more true to your nature : )
Scorp.
(Glad to see you found time to write something new) |
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Re: Torn Rose
(User Rating: 1 ) by spazz911 on
Saturday, 10th September 2005 @ 11:00:23 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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really liked it sprints its really good, i mean heartwrenchingly sad but really good, keep up the hope my friend,
kc |
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Re: Torn Rose
(User Rating: 1 ) by ilhsa on
Saturday, 10th September 2005 @ 11:11:46 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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i like ur poem |
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Re: Torn Rose
(User Rating: 1 ) by BEBE on
Sunday, 11th September 2005 @ 12:24:23 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Good Job. I like how you made the rose symbolize your life
GODBLESS
BEBE |
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Re: Torn Rose
(User Rating: 1 ) by Mangs on
Sunday, 11th September 2005 @ 08:34:55 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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wonderful write...heartfelt and deep...
Umang |
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Re: Torn Rose
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Monday, 3rd October 2005 @ 03:40:34 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Beautiful... I loved the symbolism... keep it up xXx |
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Re: Torn Rose
(User Rating: 1 ) by sweetestsin101 on
Wednesday, 5th October 2005 @ 09:25:19 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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i love the way u placed the way ur life is as the rose. wonderful write, and it really speaks to me. awsome job |
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