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In the gaps between the stars
Contributed by
lostinmyself
on
Thursday, 8th September 2005 @ 11:23:36 PM in AEST
Topic:
toughstuff
|
If I asked the stars to find you,
Would they light the night for me?
And illuminate the heavens,
So that I could see.
Would the wind bring my words to you,
If they needed to be heard,
For though you're nowhere near to me,
You're still part of my world.
And it's feeling like forever,
Since we spoke that one last time,
I wish we were together,
You're still here on my mind,
I never really forget you,
Though there are times I think I should,
But I know that I'd forget myself,
And I don't think that I could.
So if I asked the stars to find you,
And all the flowers to pray,
Would there be a single chance,
That you'd return to me some day?
I know the birds will see you,
In the gaps between the stars,
In those places where I've hidden,
All of our memoirs.
But sometimes I can feel you,
Just like you're next to me,
The night has brought you closer,
I can almost feel you breathe,
And when the moon comes out at night,
And the stars are in the sky,
I'll look for the gaps between them,
And there, I'll see you hide.
Copyright ©
lostinmyself
... [
2005-09-08 23:23:36]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: In the gaps between the stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vampirequeen on
Thursday, 8th September 2005 @ 11:29:25 PM AEST
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Awwww Philly girl.
Big huggers this write is so deep and sad and so well written.I can feel your words through me.
well done my friend.
love and hugs |
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Re: In the gaps between the stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by MorningDove on
Thursday, 8th September 2005 @ 11:34:15 PM AEST
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Philly, it is so poignantly beautiful. I think we all have probably had someone in our lives like this at one time or another. Wish you joy, love, and peace.
Rita |
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Re: In the gaps between the stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by sek-c-shaun on
Thursday, 8th September 2005 @ 11:36:52 PM AEST
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great write
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Re: In the gaps between the stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Thursday, 8th September 2005 @ 11:43:44 PM AEST
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Wow, this one rocks as I can relate so much right now.
Any things that has to do with stars has always got my attention and always will. My son added the star to emy many years ago as I live in Star City.
This write is a bit sad but still the beauty of your soul shines thru.
luv, huggs,
emy |
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Re: In the gaps between the stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by pUnKa_RaCh on
Thursday, 8th September 2005 @ 11:53:51 PM AEST
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Absolutely splendid work....
Very touching to read...I could sense your longing for this person...
And the word imagery was divine...
Keep looking into the stars! |
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Re: In the gaps between the stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Friday, 9th September 2005 @ 03:34:50 AM AEST
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Simply beautiful, Phil.
I love the imagery, the fine way it is all brought otgether, the emotion... this is Poetry, as it should be. And something more, as well, because it is your poetry.
I loved the lines
I know the birds will see you,
In the gaps between the stars,
In those places where I've hidden,
All of our memoirs.
But those are not the only ones I liked.
Beautifully done.
Andrew |
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Re: In the gaps between the stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by guiltycircles on
Friday, 9th September 2005 @ 04:51:30 AM AEST
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| this is really awesome, i know that feeling where the person you love is apart of you but not in your life... these words are so beautfiul they must come from the stars!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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Re: In the gaps between the stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by remote on
Friday, 9th September 2005 @ 06:40:39 AM AEST
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| I quite liked the first and the third sections, the second and the last one didnt quite work for me. Keep up the good work. |
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Re: In the gaps between the stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Friday, 9th September 2005 @ 06:52:26 AM AEST
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How beautfully sad. I think no one can just read your words and not feel your emotions at all.
But sometimes I can feel you,
Just like you're next to me,
The night has brought you closer,
I can almost feel you breathe,
And when the moon comes out at night,
And the stars are in the sky,
I'll look for the gaps between them,
And there, I'll see you hide.
That has to be my favorite part of the entire poem. Such small words and yet so powerful.
Hugs,
Jane~ |
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Re: In the gaps between the stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 9th September 2005 @ 11:57:54 AM AEST
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Oh Philly.. I can feel the loss and the longing as if it were my own.
This has beautiful flow, rhytmn and rhyme, it is so natural and blends with the content oh so well.
You do know he's looking down on you and smiling...feel his love?
Incredible, incredible write.... |
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Re: In the gaps between the stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Saturday, 10th September 2005 @ 08:49:19 PM AEST
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dear phil, this is sooo beautiful and exactly what i needed to read, its perfect in every way:)
hugs n' love nessa
@->>->:- |
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Re: In the gaps between the stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 10th September 2005 @ 09:34:03 PM AEST
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An exquisit peace phil penned in your always
brilliant yet so down 2 earth and human way.
Ben (((((Phil))))) |
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Re: In the gaps between the stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by WAE on
Monday, 12th September 2005 @ 04:07:27 PM AEST
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Hey there,
Phil, I am amazed. It so sweet and it really flows. I am not a very romantic guy but you touched my heart. Technical comments later.
Awsome job! My respect and admiration!
Not a grain of flattering...
Alex |
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Re: In the gaps between the stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by Willofree on
Tuesday, 13th September 2005 @ 05:24:44 PM AEST
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A somewhat mystical and whimsical write that has a beautiful flow and rhythum. The feel is that your soul is able to connect anywhere in the universe. The feeling and mood you achieve is awesome.
A magnificent write, Philly
Will |
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Re: In the gaps between the stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by Nazmythian on
Wednesday, 14th September 2005 @ 03:39:48 PM AEST
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It took me a little while Phil, to finally see what I thought was most important here ... It is hard at best to see someone intent on hiding from you ... but if they are hiding from something, or even someone else ... then perhaps they just might be visible. And that thought alone pulled the whole thing into perspective. This is beautiful Phil.
Nazzy ~ |
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Re: In the gaps between the stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by RebelRose on
Wednesday, 14th September 2005 @ 08:32:18 PM AEST
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| hey i really like this i can relate right now cause the person i would have written this about is now in my arms |
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Re: In the gaps between the stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Thursday, 15th September 2005 @ 07:00:43 PM AEST
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I am always left in awe when I read your poems Philly, theres not another poet on this entire site who touches my soul with their writes, only you.
*huggies*
pix xx |
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Re: In the gaps between the stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 17th September 2005 @ 09:14:54 AM AEST
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| Brilliant write. So bittwersweet. Chris. |
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Re: In the gaps between the stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by darkangeleyes57 on
Thursday, 6th October 2005 @ 12:20:35 PM AEST
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Deep and so sad. Great poem.. I felt emotins begin to wash over me.. great poem.
christina |
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Re: In the gaps between the stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 6th October 2005 @ 07:18:57 PM AEST
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Stunning write, Philly. Such lovely and unfulfilled longing
lay here. Brilliantly mastered, I might add. You are one of
those people. One who can take an image....an emotion...
....a dream and skillfully bring it to life.
I really, really love this.
really.
~Breezy |
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Re: In the gaps between the stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by Bohemian_with_a_pen on
Saturday, 29th October 2005 @ 12:15:26 AM AEST
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one of the most amazing writes ive ever read.
7 months ago i lost my best friend, and i can really relate.
well done, and all the best for you
Caiti XoXo |
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Re: In the gaps between the stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 10th December 2005 @ 04:41:02 PM AEST
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Phily, you write with such elegance. It really is wonderful!
A yearning and beautiful write with such lovely imagery, the starlight, the sky, flowers.
What a masterpiece. You write so incredibly well it warms the heart and soul.
Thank you so much for sharing such a wonderful talent.
Take care,
Tim
:-)
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