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Fraudulent Adoration
Contributed by
FleurdeSang
on
Thursday, 8th September 2005 @ 04:58:41 PM in AEST
Topic:
anguished
|
Come into my soul like a chalice of ashes,
Rose of creation, give me life through your thorny kiss,
Bleed me...
And please...
Relish my sacrificed wine with bittersweet gratification...
You’re armed with your bodice of destitute passion,
And I, only an elegantly dressed cadaver,
Left with nothing to shroud these preponderant desires...
)))Touch((( me...
!Hate! me...
~Love~ me...
//Throw me to the _floor_ if I’m not there already...//
~*~*~*~*
These hands, celestial and humid,
Exposing midnight illusions impregnated with notions of you,
Always.....
~*~*~*~*
The tattered womb of your love lays stinking and worthless in my desperate hands,
Oh... filthy... tainted... decorous heart,
Weep no longer to a memory that doesn’t feel...
Your arms are like amorous dove wings,
But...
I hear your heart whispering apathy,
And I don’t know if I should stay captive under your resolute oppression,
Buried in your irresistibly warm embrace and feigned blithe,
Or abandon this empty love,
This... divine lie...
For the life of me...
I don’t know...
My tears are smoldering,
I’ve held them for too long,
And I can’t... seem to stop lamenting this infinite pristine grief,
D
E
S
C
E
N
D
I
N
G
Like snow on the + dead +...
The clocks have no faces,
Time is irrelevant...
I *b l i n k * without knowing,
And I am born into l.u.g.u.b.r.i.o.u.s. non-living...
Copyright ©
FleurdeSang
... [
2005-09-08 16:58:41]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Fraudulent Adoration
(User Rating: 1 )
by justme03 on
Thursday, 8th September 2005 @ 05:05:58 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| awesome, beautiful, well written! loved it! |
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Re: Fraudulent Adoration
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Thursday, 8th September 2005 @ 05:27:01 PM AEST
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Now that was just awesome Fluer. Each stanza or line just captivates you.
This was just sensationally done, thanks for sharing.
Jane~ |
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Re: Fraudulent Adoration
(User Rating: 1 )
by kerrah681 on
Friday, 9th September 2005 @ 04:06:44 AM AEST
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| It is so cool how descending.....descends! I must say though, I'm wondering if you really need ALL the adjectives. In my opinion, the words speak through themselves so all the adjective use and descriptive phrasing left minimal shows the reader you weren't trying so hard. To me it seems that poems should come as you go, not trying so hard to think of an intellectual word to use to make the poem sound better. I still was taken back be the format, and enjoyed reading it as well. |
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Re: Fraudulent Adoration
(User Rating: 1 )
by FleurdeSang on
Friday, 9th September 2005 @ 11:49:52 AM AEST
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^.^ Thank you all for your lovely comments, as always, they are very much appreciated!! And in referrance to kerrah's statement: My friend, thank you for your critique, I will keep it in mind, but my using "intellectual words and many adjectives", they just come to me, I wasn't trying hard to think of any of them... they just... pop out, lol. Nonetheless, merci beacucoup for your insight! I'm glad you all enjoyed it! *hugs and smoochies*. Au revoir.
Votre fleur de sang,
~*Stephy*~ |
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Re: Fraudulent Adoration
(User Rating: 1 )
by sweetangeluk on
Sunday, 11th September 2005 @ 06:47:48 AM AEST
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Excellent my friend. i have missed reading your writes. Magnificent as always you draw the reader into your world.
Superb
love Angelxxx |
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Re: Fraudulent Adoration
(User Rating: 1 )
by SensitiveSoAbused on
Sunday, 11th September 2005 @ 06:54:28 PM AEST
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Dark and delicious.
Anguish laced with Anger
Confusion and ambiguity engage in intercourse.
Delightfully put together... feels an air of blithe, though in a dark sense, like a breath of frozen night air and a lilting step away from a fresh corpse a long-endured torment.
Like snow on the + dead +...
The clocks have no faces,
Time is irrelevant...
I *b l i n k * without knowing,
And I am born into l.u.g.u.b.r.i.o.u.s. non-living...
This is my favorite bit. The whole thing, especially the first two lines.
As always when you write, your eyes are mine, and your heart is mine. Your pain and suffering are on my shoulders when I taste the blood of your pen, and there they should be forevermore; I gladly relieve you of them for eternity,
.infinite. |
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Re: Fraudulent Adoration
(User Rating: 1 )
by emphaticplacebo on
Thursday, 15th September 2005 @ 05:02:34 AM AEST
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Fluer, you are just so marvellous at expressing how you feel so explicitly. I loved this poem-- its unorthodox layout and wonderful wording leaves me so full of vivid imagery! I have always loved your poetry and this only reinforces my opinions
Dan x |
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