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Love Bites
Contributed by
hauntedscorp
on
Wednesday, 7th September 2005 @ 08:16:35 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
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Pain induced
bleeding profuse
Toxic words invade
deceiving charm persuades
An emotion riddled shame
what you didn't say maims
Slit the throat
of the feelings spoke
This scar adheres
a reminder of fears
Let the blood seep
into your conscience creep
Suture your lips
don't let the words slip
Before your heart reveals
what your mind struggles to conceal
Watch my words fall flat
my heart---your doormat
Copyright ©
hauntedscorp
... [
2005-09-07 20:16:35]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Love Bites
(User Rating: 1 )
by xxbreathlessx on
Wednesday, 7th September 2005 @ 10:49:49 PM AEST
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| Loved the ending! and i really enjoyed your unique rhyming pattern, overall awesome poem - as usual! keep on writing |
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Re: Love Bites
(User Rating: 1 )
by brew on
Wednesday, 7th September 2005 @ 11:13:25 PM AEST
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Sorry for love.biting scorp..........it can be unjustifed, in many ways,! But as I always say...........Move on. it sucks.YES.............and we hurt..........YEs....but you know........the one who will prevail, will be thy self.! Lovely and sad write.!
Brew~ |
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Re: Love Bites
(User Rating: 1 )
by LostAmbition on
Wednesday, 7th September 2005 @ 11:42:06 PM AEST
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Looky here!
your titles all draw me in
mabye its fate:D
this sounds like a bad breakup.
such descriptive language :0
Good good stuff!!
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Re: Love Bites
(User Rating: 1 )
by sick_n_twisted on
Thursday, 8th September 2005 @ 01:09:32 AM AEST
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nice LOVE DOES BITE ! in the words of def leppard love lives love dies its no surpise love bits ! haha nice work ! love the ending
My heart---your doormat
really nice work |
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Re: Love Bites
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Thursday, 8th September 2005 @ 01:09:44 AM AEST
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I truly hope u find a good loving person who will treat u with the love and respect that u deserve. A very clever and talented miss who just hasn't had any luck in the love stakes.
Move on my friend. Leave the past behind u.
You're a bright, intelligent and gifted person who deserves so much happiness in her life.
An absolutely very well detailed piece of poetry filled with such sadness. Chin up girl.
Hugs,
Sue, Dreamer |
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Re: Love Bites
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 8th September 2005 @ 03:25:39 AM AEST
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A writter of distinction writting about a subject
a tale of woe if u will, it comes from the heart only 2 return 2 the heart once again 2 cause pain . . .
(((((((scorp))))))))
Ben |
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Re: Love Bites
(User Rating: 1 )
by Archie on
Thursday, 8th September 2005 @ 10:35:44 AM AEST
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| Yeah that's how it feels sometimes. This is a good write nonetheless |
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Re: Love Bites
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 8th September 2005 @ 11:50:54 AM AEST
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Aw...Scorp-en-a-tor!!!!!!!
((((((((((Scorpenator)))))))))
My friend. Such emotion engulfed in an absolutely wonderfully scripted write. 5/5
Pick up that beautiful heart. In no way should it be down there as anyone's doormat ! ! ! :)
Okay, kewl....see now? See how your heart is so wonderful and caring? It is such an incredibly astonishing marvelous Scorpenatorerrific heart that should never be left out in the weather for the elements to get to and deserves extra special treatment just like it treats others. Whoever has even inadvertently without regard or with no compassion, whether intentionally or unintentionally used it for a doormat can go get himself a doormat for $6.99 at Wal*Mart!!!
This extra special superiffic heart along with it's incredible owner, The one and only Scorpenator, deserves only the best. If not today, someday, definitely the best will open his eyes and see this gem for what she is really worth.
Tim |
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Re: Love Bites
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vampirequeen on
Thursday, 8th September 2005 @ 01:11:04 PM AEST
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AWWW SCORPY HUGS
I AM SORRY YOUR FEELING DOWN .
YES SOMETIMES LOVE DOES SUCK.
LOVE AND HUGS |
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Re: Love Bites
(User Rating: 1 )
by In_a_while on
Thursday, 8th September 2005 @ 02:50:36 PM AEST
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Holy smokers... the opening was just piercing with graphic hurt and invasion. I thought the "toxic words" line was especially powerful and true about relationships that are not meant to be.
Oh oh, and "slit the throat of feelings spoke?" whoa, that's heavy hurtin... i'm sorry to hear it... but the imagery, rhyme and clever wordplay is undeniably crafty.
Take care and i hope that all goes well for your heart and your ultra fine writing.
Dwayne |
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Re: Love Bites
(User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on
Thursday, 8th September 2005 @ 09:41:26 PM AEST
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It's a painful, poetic telling,
of all I've seen..and all too often-
..heartfelt-
I hope this finds you well Scorp-
(KOTC).. for you luv-
Yours-
Billy |
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Re: Love Bites
(User Rating: 1 )
by tonydread on
Saturday, 10th September 2005 @ 09:53:51 AM AEST
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| whats a scorp but this is realy good compared to u an the chase wth diffrent stiles will u 2 help me how do i contect u i wrote chaser to |
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Re: Love Bites
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 13th September 2005 @ 06:49:47 PM AEST
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*****Pain induced
bleeding profuse
Toxic words invade
deceiving charm persuades
Oh yes. There are a lot of charmers. Silly me, I fell for many fascinating words from beautiful people.
Gosh, and you just roll in the sweetness. Then you find out later on, you have been cheated and mislead. Oh its a terrible experience.
*****what you didn't say maims
Can this be worse? Wondering what those hidden thoughts are. What is not said, also feels empty. No suggestions at all. Nothing to associate with, nothing to be involved with. You feel cheated in many ways. The truth is covered up. It does leave scars.
*****Suture your lips
don't let the words slip
Before your heart reveals
what your mind struggles to conceal
I remember my mother telling me often, to button up my lips, or sew up my lips, if I can't say something nice, or before I tell a lie.
Sometimes actions lie. I agree with the last two sentences here.
*****Before your heart reveals
what your mind struggles to conceal
lol. who struggles more. The receiver or the sender. Or both? Does the deceiving individual wear those same scars or not.
Which brings me to Karma.. What will happen to these people, to resolve a situation. Will those people's existence be changed in nature.
Doesn't the saying go, "What comes around, goes around" or is that a saying for something else lol. Am getting old, forgetting all these wise sayings lol.
I do not like the last line Scorp. lol.
*****Watch my words fall flat
my heart---your doormat
You need not be abused, by words or the lack of them.
Wonderful write, lots of thoughts go into this one.
Great title by the way.
Effective dialogue of conflict, contact with self..
Thank you..always wonderful to read your poems.
Raquel Leah :D
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Re: Love Bites
(User Rating: 1 )
by Willofree on
Friday, 16th September 2005 @ 11:18:30 AM AEST
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I would disagree that this poem is nothing special. I think it is very special, afterall what is more important then one's heart. The heart skews whatever we see through the portal of life. So how our heart feels influences our mood, which reflects back on what we observe. And your observations in this poem are sad, but very powerful. The imagery is fantastic; starting with the first stanza. Wow!
Sorry, I didn't mean this as a lecture, Scorp
Well done
Will |
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Re: Love Bites
(User Rating: 1 )
by tdp on
Saturday, 17th September 2005 @ 06:56:02 PM AEST
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| Very descrptive and I truly felt your emotions as I was reading. Definetley have been there before..time heals woeing hearts ..but i know it is soo hard! Great poetry! |
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Re: Love Bites
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Wednesday, 4th June 2014 @ 02:41:07 PM AEST
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absolutely beautiful write! sad end though, after all that
your still chuffed,
hugs n' love nessa |
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Re: Love Bites
(User Rating: 1 )
by JamesStockdale on
Monday, 12th December 2016 @ 10:08:16 PM AEST
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Sad but beautifully written indeed.
James |
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