|
 Menu
|
|
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
|
Dauphinia
Contributed by
gwenevere
on
Wednesday, 7th September 2005 @ 04:23:27 PM in AEST
Topic:
fantasy
|
I come to meet my love today
I heard you weep, I heard you pray
The dolphins cried your plaintive tune
At the sun, the stars, the moon
The islands sit amongst the sea
There quietly waiting, you for me
The palm tree's sway, the seabirds call
A tropic breeze blows over all
I am Dauphinia, come to me
Fly above the rolloing sea
Hold me close and breathe my spell
Remember me, you knew so well
Leave your body, reach my arms
I will keep you safe from harm
Embrace me as a lover, friend
New beginning, not an end
Copyright ©
gwenevere
... [
2005-09-07 16:23:27]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: Dauphinia
(User Rating: 1 )
by Pisces101 on
Wednesday, 7th September 2005 @ 05:43:04 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
this poem is very euphoric. nicely done. i couldn't really put my finger on what it was about... lovers just meeting? or lovers already aquainted? lovely
sarah |
|
|
Re: Dauphinia
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 7th September 2005 @ 06:37:59 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Very watery. However, you should have it spell-checked since you're not taking your audience seriously with an ill-prepped submission.
I like the chorus part at the end of the first part, which emphasises the plaintive cry, in 'the moon'. Perhaps that could be done with being on a new line.
However, the rest of the piece is quite choppy and I struggle to connote enough sense through inversions and such like. There is quite a bit of cosy abstraction, which fits the theme though.
It held my attention.
N_F |
|
|
Re: Dauphinia
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 8th September 2005 @ 03:44:15 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Lovely Ros a soothing write and so easy to
read, like the last line very much.
Ben |
|
|
Re: Dauphinia
(User Rating: 1 )
by Bruce on
Thursday, 8th September 2005 @ 11:25:57 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Lovely. I could have a few words for N_F whoever he is. I have a better name for him but i will be kind. |
|
|
Re: Dauphinia
(User Rating: 1 )
by remote on
Thursday, 8th September 2005 @ 02:58:20 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Whatever it is, it sure transports you to the land of imagination. |
|
|
|
· 
Poetry
Community
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
