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Moose
Contributed by
scrap_foot
on
Wednesday, 7th September 2005 @ 02:48:45 PM in AEST
Topic:
AngryPoetry
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i saw an angry moose.
he was angry.
i ran to him.
and he gave me a flower,
but i trampled on it.
Copyright ©
scrap_foot
... [
2005-09-07 14:48:45] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Moose
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 7th September 2005 @ 06:58:21 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Alright. I'll bite.
Why would an angry/wild moose produce a flower in its rage? Your progression does not allude to you being the reason this moose might be mad, since you did trample its flower. However, its inverted insofar as you trample the flower after you mention that the moose is angry.
Try having your writing make sense, else people will ignore both you, and what you write.
Thanks,
N_F |
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Re: Moose
(User Rating: 1 ) by Essentially9 on
Wednesday, 7th September 2005 @ 11:02:07 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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i agree with neps. i would say the closest this is to a poem would be a limerick, but its not even that in the slightest. |
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