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Closing You Off
Contributed by
sprinter27
on
Saturday, 3rd September 2005 @ 10:19:45 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
I am closing you off
Oh, what surprise
I can make it, I'm tough
I don't want more lies
I'll just push you away
If you ever try to hug me
I'll run from you everyday
I can't trust you, don't you see?
From others I've taken blows,
They have all put me down
I admit, you are good, but no pro
You can't help erase this frown
You are a terrific person
Which is why i can't trust you
I'm afraid to have fun,
Just to find out you're untrue
I will surely break apart
If you try to help me,
You will destroy my heart,
If you lie at all to me
I'll push you away every time
I'm closing myself off,
I'll just say every time, 'I'm fine'
I'll go alone- I'm tough
I'll go it alone from here
I'll always fight you
I only have one fear,
That you're untrue
I'll just push you away
If you ever try to hug me
I'll run from you everyday
I can't trust you, don't you see?
Copyright ©
sprinter27
... [
2005-09-03 22:19:45]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Closing You Off
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Tuesday, 6th September 2005 @ 03:08:08 PM AEST
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a Message)
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It's a shame this poem was overlooked, because it's quite good. I can't tell you how much I could easily believe this was written by me. What I mean is, your words and emotions, are exactly how I used to feel when I was younger...Maybe even now still, to a degree. It can be impossibly hard to trust again, after you've been deceived by someone you love/care for...It'll get easier one day sprints, you'll see : )
Scorp. |
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Re: Closing You Off
(User Rating: 1 )
by Bones on
Saturday, 10th September 2005 @ 07:51:43 PM AEST
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The title reminds me of one of your other poems. But hey, it's your style...and I like it. I like your useage of slant rhyme in the first stanza. And I love the way you emphiaze the second stanza by repeating it at the end. And same with certain lines that you repeat. I like the way you show your emotions in the poem. You're very direct...I like that. Your poems are always interesting and nice to read...no matter how dark they may seem.
Peace,
Agent Bones |
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