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To be
Contributed by
lostinmyself
on
Wednesday, 31st August 2005 @ 06:33:31 PM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
|
And it's
Almost
Funny,
The way I
Can turn,
And can twist,
What we say,
Into something
...Different,
To what was there,
To be said.
But it hurts,
When you cry,
(When I cry,)
When you scream,
When it's heard,
When it's not,
When it's seen.
When I talk,
In that voice,
When you give me,
No choice,
When I hurt,
In this way,
When it's too hard,
To say:
I'm sorry.
And it's time,
To let go,
Just to breathe,
Just to,
Feel
Just to talk,
In that way,
Where we both
Can be real,
But it's just too hard to say,
(The words got in the way,
Of my thoughts.)
Copyright ©
lostinmyself
... [
2005-08-31 18:33:31]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: To be
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 31st August 2005 @ 07:51:25 PM AEST
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But it's just too hard to say,
(The words got in the way,)
Of my thoughts.
I like this part, what you said. The spoken words overriding what the mind wants to say. Words coming out without the mind working.
Deep write, its great.
Raquel Leah :D |
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Re: To be
(User Rating: 1 )
by hunterj2k on
Wednesday, 31st August 2005 @ 08:00:54 PM AEST
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| I love the flow and rhythym of the poem. It's kind of stream of consciousness, which works with the meaning. Great poem! |
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Re: To be
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Wednesday, 31st August 2005 @ 08:20:20 PM AEST
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Hate the topic maybe Philly, but don't hate the content...for this is a great, soul-searching type of write, and I love it. I feel almost wrong bringing up the flow of this, but how can I not?? The flow of your words was flawless, and quite natural. Well done PhillyGirl!!
*big hugs*
Scorp.
(Sighing at just how easily she can relate to this) |
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Re: To be
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 31st August 2005 @ 09:38:17 PM AEST
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this poem almost brings me 2 tears but i won't say why but that it depicts things that should be but shall never come 2 pass, oh
so brilliant and in true form . . .
((((Phil))))
Ben |
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Re: To be
(User Rating: 1 )
by pUnKa_RaCh on
Wednesday, 31st August 2005 @ 09:40:02 PM AEST
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| very well written......ive felt this way before! |
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Re: To be
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 31st August 2005 @ 09:49:34 PM AEST
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| I think just about all of us can relate to this work at some point in our lives.. Very well done. |
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Re: To be
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Thursday, 1st September 2005 @ 01:23:20 AM AEST
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So brillantly written Phil. I loved the way you've bought this one across to the reader. Sadly I can relate to ur poem so well. I think alot of us can. You go girl.
Hugs,
Sue, Dreamer |
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Re: To be
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Thursday, 1st September 2005 @ 03:55:39 AM AEST
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Gosh Phil this was just WOW!!!! you know what i mean?
It just makes you sit, think and stare at it and say, jeez could i relate to that.
This was amazing Phil and yes just like you.
Hugs,
Jane xx |
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Re: To be
(User Rating: 1 )
by venkat on
Thursday, 1st September 2005 @ 04:06:14 AM AEST
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I don't know what was wrong..but I like thse lines : "Just to breathe, Just to, Feel Just to talk, In that way, Where we both Can be real'
:-) venkat
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Re: To be
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Thursday, 1st September 2005 @ 10:59:16 AM AEST
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wow , everytime I read a poem from you I think that you can;t possibly get any better, but here you go again :) this is amazing, yours are some of the poems I miss rerading the most on the site *huggsss*
pix xx |
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Re: To be
(User Rating: 1 )
by Archie on
Saturday, 3rd September 2005 @ 12:55:37 AM AEST
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This reminds me of a song.
"Theres no way
this can have a happy ending . . .
When niether one of us
wants to be the first to say good bye"
Quote from "Niether one of us" By Gladys Knight and the Pips |
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Re: To be
(User Rating: 1 )
by Willofree on
Tuesday, 6th September 2005 @ 08:34:35 PM AEST
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Very unique and effective poem about how we communicate with others. It seems to point out....we mean what we mean, but don't always mean what we say. And we don't always say what we mean or mean what we say. Hopefully, we strive to share what is in our hearts.
I commend you for submitting this poem.
Will |
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Re: To be
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 7th September 2005 @ 03:31:42 PM AEST
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Wel now, a bit diffrent for you and yet can I expect anything less?
Great flow, of course and somehow says so much in its straightforward format.
Hugs.... |
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Re: To be
(User Rating: 1 )
by WAE on
Monday, 12th September 2005 @ 04:15:15 PM AEST
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Well, I see. Is it a kind of experiment? I can understand what drives you but...a bit confusing.
Alex
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Re: To be
(User Rating: 1 )
by Bohemian_with_a_pen on
Sunday, 18th September 2005 @ 04:42:54 AM AEST
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| amazing, well done! |
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Re: To be
(User Rating: 1 )
by darkangeleyes57 on
Thursday, 6th October 2005 @ 12:19:33 PM AEST
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| great flow and great poem it was awesome. You are very talented. |
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