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ATTACKED
Contributed by
randyjohnson
on
Tuesday, 30th August 2005 @ 05:06:37 PM in AEST
Topic:
Grief
|
Now you'll go to prison for attempted rape.
Thank goodness the lady was able to escape.
You won't enjoy going back to jail.
When she kicked you in the crotch, it must have hurt like hell.
You thought you could destroy her with your attack.
But this time the lady fought back.
Copyright ©
randyjohnson
... [
2005-08-30 17:06:37]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: ATTACKED
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 30th August 2005 @ 05:37:04 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Now, if this were from the point of view of the rapist, this effort would be wholly more interesting than it currently is, I expect. Rape is an evil act, but this trivialises it, in my opinion.
Keep writing. |
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Re: ATTACKED
(User Rating: 1 )
by MorningDove on
Tuesday, 30th August 2005 @ 09:05:07 PM AEST
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Randy, this needs more to lend credence to the evil side of the act. Maybe a little bit of fear as he comes toward her, malice as he attempts the act, fear yet a send of pride in warding him off, then the admonition to the rapist. Give it some depth.
Smiles,
Rita |
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