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Railing Away
Contributed by
WAE
on
Tuesday, 30th August 2005 @ 02:34:02 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
An empty car of an invisible train
With no destination,
It is just railing away.
A hollow link of a rattling chain
Speeding up into nowhere,
It is just railing away.
I am by the window, loooking at rain
Smiling at no one,
I am just railing away.
I spent all desire to lose or to gain,
Hoping for nothing,
I am just railing away.
The world I am leaving is all in vain,
I don't want to struggle,
I am just railing away.
I have gone crazy from nonsense and pain,
I don't regret,
I am just railing away.
Alexei Ogorodov
ecuaruso@mail.ru
Copyright ©
WAE
... [
2005-08-30 14:34:02]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Railing Away
(User Rating: 1 )
by dagonet on
Saturday, 10th September 2005 @ 02:07:53 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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superb the best of what you have submitted in my opinion, although contradictive in some ways it flows brilliantly, captures the mind, creates imagery, and conveys many messages in ways that are both hidden and blunt, a real pleasure to read.
brilliant. ryan. |
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Re: Railing Away
(User Rating: 1 )
by dagonet on
Sunday, 11th September 2005 @ 08:06:20 AM AEST
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a Message)
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hey alex, i thought id just point out that when i said about the contradiction in my first comment i meant the lines "An empty car of an invisible train" and "I am by the window, loooking at rain" is a contradiction if u are on the train looking out of the window, if that is the intention then it is contradictive because the car of the train cant be empty if someone(you) is in it.
thats all i meant by it, im sorry if i misinterpreted the meaning mbehind it and that ive made a mistake.
keep writing my friend, you may not enjoy it but you have an excellent talent for it, dont let that go.
sincerely ryan. |
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Re: Railing Away
(User Rating: 1 )
by Archie on
Tuesday, 20th September 2005 @ 07:34:32 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| I would like to hear what this sounds like. I think it is a great poem but it is missing elemnts that would make it a great song. |
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