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Ocean
Contributed by
black_star
on
Tuesday, 30th August 2005 @ 04:32:04 AM in AEST
Topic:
NaturePoetry
|
Break streaming like a pianists finger to key
Waves crashing as brumbies thunder plane
Sea splitting and spitting with spite and with spare
Foam crumbling and tumbling the main.
Boulders who hold us through fair and through foam
Rook pools sparkle and mark all above
Sand hugging the water with hate and with war
Sunshine touching them both with love.
Clouds over the war between sand and the sea
Sun under the peace of the black
Sea gulls flapping and flying and fitting the mood
Blue holding the world on its back.
Copyright ©
black_star
... [
2005-08-30 04:32:04]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Ocean
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Tuesday, 30th August 2005 @ 07:43:32 AM AEST
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a Message)
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A brillantly written and well described poem. I absolutely love the way you've portrayed this. A job well done.
Hugs,
Dreamer |
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Re: Ocean
(User Rating: 1 )
by mom11159 on
Wednesday, 31st August 2005 @ 11:33:26 AM AEST
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I just got back from the ocean never been there before and I loved it. Your words displayed excactly what I saw and felt excellent job. Your imagery was so on the head could see it all over again
Cathy |
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Re: Ocean
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Thursday, 1st September 2005 @ 04:15:56 AM AEST
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a Message)
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I'm honestly very impressed, I must say! This is a truly excellent first submission. Your words are very eloquent, finely tuned, and full of beautiful sound-play.
The scene described is lovely, and also something of a reminder of a similarly meaningful trip to the sea - on holiday as well, which inspired me to write, pulling me out of a two-month period of block. There is still not quite anything else like the Sea.
Well done! I love this. Do keep it up.
Andrew |
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