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DARK HAIKUS
Contributed by
chazthepoet
on
Saturday, 27th August 2005 @ 10:59:35 AM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
The land is baron
They came, saw and destroyed it
Nothing more is left.
If you could see it
Then you too would be like me,
Sleepless and deadly.
The keeper of keys
Which open the doors of time
No not where the doors.
Copyright ©
chazthepoet
... [
2005-08-27 10:59:35]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: DARK HAIKUS
(User Rating: 1 )
by MorningDove on
Saturday, 27th August 2005 @ 06:26:37 PM AEST
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a Message)
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The land is (baron) should be barren???
No not where the doors (this sentence does not make sense to me and leaves the Haiku dangling.
Dove |
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Re: DARK HAIKUS
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadheadpoet on
Saturday, 27th August 2005 @ 09:38:41 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Well, I really liked the first one, but as Morning Dove has pointed out, you used the wrong barren. The second has me puzzled as to what IT is, that makes you sleepless and deadly. The third...the third line doesn't seem to make sense..."No not where the doors" do you mean like not knowing where the doors are? You just left me hanging on that one. Peace to you, Laura |
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Re: DARK HAIKUS
(User Rating: 1 )
by chazthepoet on
Sunday, 28th August 2005 @ 06:12:15 AM AEST
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a Message)
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very sorry
baron=barren
no=know
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