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Yellow
Contributed by
fielding88
on
Saturday, 27th August 2005 @ 01:02:48 AM in AEST
Topic:
StoryPoetry
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In a field of blacks and blues
Stood a yellow headed daisy,
And that yellow headed daisy,
Had yet to feel my pinch.
I took off my golden shoes
And walked through the field to maybe
Pick that yellow-headed daisy;
It seemed like such a cinch.
In a sky of reddish hues
Flew a bird straight for my baby--
For my yellow headed daisy!
An ugly spotted finch.
So I ran—and so it flew
…But I ran a little slowly,
Lost my yellow headed daisy,
By just a simple inch.
In a rush we never knew
There was a purple-bottomed bee
In that yellow headed daisy,
That stung the ugly finch.
From red skies to bluish dews
Danced the flower to my safety.
For this Yellow-Headed Daisy
Was meant for me to clinch.
Copyright ©
fielding88
... [
2005-08-27 01:02:48]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Yellow
(User Rating: 1 )
by brew on
Saturday, 27th August 2005 @ 01:13:53 AM AEST
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HEY, I love that song.................................and good post with it.! Its differ........
Brew~ |
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Re: Yellow
(User Rating: 1 )
by MorningDove on
Saturday, 27th August 2005 @ 01:16:45 AM AEST
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You can never listen to too much Beatles music!!! I love this poem. It is so light and fun. Thank goodness for purple-bottomed bees and the beauty of yellow headed daisies.
Big smiles,
Rita
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Re: Yellow
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Saturday, 27th August 2005 @ 01:46:20 AM AEST
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Geesh! How can this awesome rhyme scheme be overlooked?!?!? I'm a sucker for a creative rhyme, and this is most definitely one! I love how the last word in each line rhymes with the corresponding line in each consecutive stanza. *Hopes that makes sense* : O
The imagery is wildly vivid, and imaginative, and written in a way that makes for a lovely tribute to the band. Well done Marc!
Scorp. |
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Re: Yellow
(User Rating: 1 )
by eatfresh22 on
Saturday, 27th August 2005 @ 02:36:02 AM AEST
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I love yellow!!! So you drew me in from just the title. Nicely done.
~Carrie~ |
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Re: Yellow
(User Rating: 1 )
by Archie on
Saturday, 27th August 2005 @ 03:04:20 AM AEST
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Funny poem and i see what you mean about the Beetles.
"We all live in a yellow submarine. . ."
Great write |
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Re: Yellow
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Saturday, 27th August 2005 @ 04:14:24 AM AEST
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Marc, this was awesome. The rhyming patters of this poem were spot on.
This was just nicely done and I couldn't be happier that I got to read it.
Jane~
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Re: Yellow
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 27th August 2005 @ 04:20:54 PM AEST
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ah yes, they did love to sing about colors...
A wonderful piece you have here. I was caught up in the story right to the end.
Congrats on your daisy! :)
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Re: Yellow
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Monday, 12th September 2005 @ 07:02:10 PM AEST
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lol, this is so light hearted and brilliant, im so happy to have read it:)
hugs n' love nessa
@->>->:- |
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Re: Yellow
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 24th September 2005 @ 07:36:04 AM AEST
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| this is a really good piece of poetry , I salute you ,,well done,,Eddy |
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Re: Yellow
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Sunday, 25th September 2005 @ 06:57:40 PM AEST
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A fantastic write u have here. I like the way you've brought this across to ur reader. The imagery sensational. Well done.
Hugs,
Sue, Dreamer |
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Re: Yellow
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 30th September 2005 @ 01:11:37 AM AEST
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Oh my, another great write.. loving these writes I find.
Thank you for commenting on my writes as well.
I like the use of your colors here. I see a deep write as well. This is what it means to me.
I see some conflicts and friction with relations and friends in your mind as I read your poem, sort of like in that field, signifying some sort of isolation and transitional period in your life. Although also, I can sense you have a lot of confidence in yourself and your abilites but you may encounter opposition.
Yes, that finch has lots of freedom which you may want to share it with, perhaps family happiness. The weight of that freedom flying is coming down to attack, and I see you want an escape from it. You fear not, you are ready to confront those doubts and fears though.
That red sky indicates great passion and sensitivity in your emotional makeup, your poem shows me the beauty and happiness and pleasures that are in you, from using lots of color in your write, you blossom with your words, keep writing, I love this a lot. You are the flower. I am glad you are not getting stung, by that bee, and that you hold your flower tight, yourself.
This is a kind of write that holds a lot of depth to it, more than just a story. I love it, thank you.
Raquel Leah :D
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Re: Yellow
(User Rating: 1 )
by Wachumiri on
Friday, 30th September 2005 @ 11:17:14 AM AEST
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Well written piece! Tells an interesting tale. Maybe the world does conspire, when we want something so bad, yet it is far from our grasp. Anyhow, thanks for the thought.
Take care.
David |
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Re: Yellow
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 8th October 2005 @ 07:06:07 PM AEST
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| Such a beautifully written poem! I love the structure and the flow. Wonderful work. :-) |
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Re: Yellow
(User Rating: 1 )
by Lashing_Tongue on
Sunday, 30th October 2005 @ 11:22:28 PM AEST
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Lol, a slightly sad but immersive poem.
Great job!
Best Wishes,
Jackie |
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