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Series of Shadows
Contributed by
His_3_Nails
on
Thursday, 18th August 2005 @ 07:57:25 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
___DROWNING (this is my life)___: song
Im Drowning in a pool of blood and spit
This is my life, this is what I get
Deprived, but full of sorrow..... sick of this ****
this is my life, I welcome you to it
Drowning, deciving
no breathing, no seeing
im bleeding, Im crying
screaming, dying
This is my life
Lonelyness
freedom is for what I fight
no one ever there, no soul to caress
I welcome you
see past the illusion
Im not who you knew
but rether lost in confusion
Sufficating, im drowning
loss of breath, I feel nothing
Im cutting to death
Bleeding, my life is misleading
no defying....... tears of blood I am crying
Life's not worth the lies
everything seems to go blank
all truth dies
My lungs fill, I choke
No one there to care
slowly life creeps away
all I ask is for a better way
I hope you enjoied these songs and one poem......... I plan to post two more here soon.
-Brandon
Copyright ©
His_3_Nails
... [
2005-08-18 19:57:25]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Series of Shadows
(User Rating: 1 )
by helzwar007 on
Thursday, 18th August 2005 @ 09:23:52 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| I think your songs are awesome baby... Ioved them... they had a driving feeling in them... like... you were wanting out.. like this life was driving you somewhere you didnt want to be... and you had to get out of it. I loved it. and I love you.... mmmmwwwwwaaaaa. keep writing baby, poetry can help clear the mind. and your good at it. 143. -sa-sa-b00ga-b00ga- |
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Re: Series of Shadows
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 18th August 2005 @ 10:19:26 PM AEST
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| i can relate to all of these and i think other people might be able to. I like the poem the best b/c i can relate to that more. Good job. |
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Re: Series of Shadows
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadheadpoet on
Thursday, 18th August 2005 @ 10:46:30 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Yes I too enjoyed all three....ya should have posted them seperately. But that's okay. Don't know what ya did to stir up the moderators, but please behave and stick around. I loved listening to what you had to say. Very powerful writes, my fav was the two songs. Can't relate to some of your thoughts. Peace to you Brandon, Laura |
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Re: Series of Shadows
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadheadpoet on
Thursday, 18th August 2005 @ 10:54:35 PM AEST
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| oops....I meant to say I CAN relate to some of your thoughts.....darn fingers. Peace, Laura |
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Re: Series of Shadows
(User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on
Friday, 19th August 2005 @ 01:16:19 AM AEST
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I see these as dark, yes..
and perhaps a bit racy..
(I love nice vulgar reads)
but your diction was subpar..
you've much to learn-
Perhaps these was written for the
sake of dark and not soul..
be true to yourself
and all your dark will 'shine' through.
Anyone can scribe what you have..
no feeling-just words.
As I said..
subpar writes-
no worthy metaphors or analogies-
(I'm sick of the mental life!)
whatever..
Billy |
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Re: Series of Shadows
(User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on
Friday, 19th August 2005 @ 01:21:19 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Also..
you might want to check out the new feature on most modern PC's...it's called spell check-
(makes it easier for us, the grammatically correct)
It is after all, the WRITTEN word..our art.
Billy |
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Re: Series of Shadows
(User Rating: 1 )
by Archie on
Tuesday, 23rd August 2005 @ 10:40:21 AM AEST
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| In this poem I see a man who does not know who he is. I see no hope for change in his words and he wants something that maybe he should not and maybe that is the substance of his troubles. That is a lot like me.: it is painful to purge our charecters, when we prune a bush sometimes it almost dies but the flowers that appear on it in the folloowing spring are bigger. In the same way you must recognize the things in you that need to be pruned. I will share no scripture here because i do not think you are seeking God as much as you are seeking answers. Decide what you want and go after that. If it is God seek God. If it is pleasure seek pleasure but do not continue to walk a path of indecision for that leads to a worse fate than the other 2 roads. I hope that helps. This poem shows a lot of heart. |
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