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A Baby's Mind
Contributed by
venkat
on
Tuesday, 14th January 2003 @ 04:40:00 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
* * *
On the last step between night and day
Leaning to a pillar 'twixt question and answer
When I started counting of holes in the sky,
I saw a twinkling little star coming fast towards me.
At once a desire arose in my heart to stop it,
My mind shouted in silence ‘Catch it!’
‘No, it will burn your palm’ cried my intellect.
How to stop it then? there was no answer.
But the little star stopped by an impulse unknown,
looking at me in wonder waved it's little hand
as if it was calling me. I desired to run away
but there appeared an abyss in front of me,
I doubted whether I would be swallowed
by the abyss if I moved from the last step’
As if it understood my doubt the little star
came near and sat beside me.
‘Who are you my little star?’
The little star startled by my question.
Said with a sad face ‘I am a baby’s mind’-
'Where are you going, dear baby's mind?
Why do you look so much worried!'
Hearing my question it began
To cry as if it's heart was broken,
Suppressing sobs with flowing tears it began to say..
‘I am a baby’s mind, my woes...how can I explain?
God desired to cheat me; He is trying to throw me away
into an abyss of darkness;
He tries to lead me through thorny bushes
where black serpents are lying coiled;
through the groves of sandal wood trees
where the white serpents are dancing
with upraised hoods;
why does he do this all to me for no fault of mine?
I have to question him and demand an answer,
For that purpose I am going to his abode,
Till the day before yesterday when he was drawing
pictures in front of his house he called me
and requested me to point out his mistakes
if any I found in his paintings,
At the time when he was beautifying the sky
with strings of stars from one end to other end
When there were nobody to help him,
he called me for his assistance,
When he created multi colored nature
he asked me to choise many a good color …
Which color to which flower, which fruit
To which tree and which stalk to which fruit.
He made me to stand among flowers,
fruits, stalks and the branches and told
That I was his sole adviser
and the most reliable friend;
He asked me to accompany him while
he went on tours to taste the universal love
He told me then I was his best companion
and his future hope.
But alas, he forgot all his words of those days.
Now he does not invite me to his great abode,
Once upon a day he took me into a cave
Then told me a secret, which he made me to forget,
Why did he do this injustice? There what was my fault ?
Once did he ask me to visit his abode, but on each step
He spreads thorns and doesn’t care me even if I bleed,
I said to him I wouldn’t be visiting his abode,
He should also visit my house often,
But for few days he did visit my house
and spent his time till I get sound sleep,
Now he does not bless me sound sleep.
When he had completely forgotten me
Where is the need for him to care my sleep?
Though he was the only one person known to me
Though I had no knowledge of my self who I was.
Now I had so many friends who are visiting my house.
One guy advised me to forget God and his friendship,
One guy told me “the entire wealth in the world is yours
and you have to enjoy every thing in your life”
One told “its all useless, you must love your own self."
But all of them say they came directly from the God
In order to advise and lead me on a golden path.
Hence I asked them to sit in my house
till I find truth from God and return to home .
I must know why the God sent those bad friends to help
and why he is thinking that I am unfit for his friendship,
I must also know what was my fault?
Here no more I can waste my time,
I should leave, I must go and see my God!”
Saying thus the baby’s mind
with an innocent laugh left me alone.
The last step on which I sat
Laughed at me then dissolved into oblivion!
* * *
Dt .14-1-2003
Copyright ©
venkat
... [
2003-01-14 16:40:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: A Baby's Mind
(User Rating: 1 )
by Ilhar on
Tuesday, 14th January 2003 @ 05:28:07 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| very enjoyable thank you for sharing |
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Re: A Baby's Mind
(User Rating: 1 )
by OreO on
Tuesday, 14th January 2003 @ 05:39:14 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Oh my heart aches for this precious baby..the emotions this stirred in me have caused my tears to run thick...this one leaves me speechless....
.:*~*:.OreO.:*~*:. |
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Re: A Baby's Mind
(User Rating: 1 )
by LOWMAN613 on
Tuesday, 14th January 2003 @ 06:16:09 PM AEST
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AAAHHH I was so into this write! What a great peice of work you have done with this!
It left me breathless! Christina |
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Re: A Baby's Mind
(User Rating: 1 )
by Necronomy on
Wednesday, 15th January 2003 @ 12:26:51 AM AEST
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| wow, it was like a movie in my mind. i liked the way that was done, and the openendedness, thought provoking. i only disliked the classical approach to God and Hell, especially the punishment, even for the mind of a baby, that does not understand. i think it speaks of god's cruelty, and the vagueness with which he pronounces displeasure, but at the same time it pits the aggressors of shallow thinking and false love as God's enemies, as if to support the idea of "no good but god's good", making for a complex and distressing situation. it started quite good, and had an overall meaty texture, but left a bad taste in my mind. |
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Re: A Baby's Mind
(User Rating: 1 )
by nomad on
Wednesday, 15th January 2003 @ 07:27:34 AM AEST
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| A great story, Venkat. I like your use of irony. Fabulous images mixed with universal and timeless quandry makes for an excellent write. |
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Re: A Baby's Mind
(User Rating: 1 )
by LadyDama on
Monday, 10th February 2003 @ 02:31:51 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| excellent... as the mother of a 3 year old baby... and, although i am not christian, the thought of the baby's mind stirred many emotions within me... thank you... |
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Re: A Baby's Mind
(User Rating: 1 )
by karoody on
Wednesday, 12th February 2003 @ 01:31:09 AM AEST
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| well written, i can feel the pain of that baby's mind...as far as the religious part, you are the author your discretion...it's not what you show us, it's how well you can get us to see, you did well, my friend. |
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Re: A Baby's Mind
(User Rating: 1 )
by harmoni on
Wednesday, 4th February 2004 @ 05:48:27 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| First of all I was draw to read. I can say I was very inpress .Great job!I can see how creative you are /.BRAVO Bravo Harmoni |
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Re: A Baby's Mind
(User Rating: 1 )
by uchendu on
Thursday, 26th February 2004 @ 07:20:23 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| It's your style and use of words i love most. |
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Re: A Baby's Mind
(User Rating: 1 )
by Cynthia on
Friday, 14th May 2004 @ 10:44:34 AM AEST
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| Oh wow!!!!!!! I don't know what exactly to say at this point. *ponders for a moment* This write truly caught me surprise. I love how you wrote this. Excellent work. Just excellent. *S* Cynthia |
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Re: A Baby's Mind
(User Rating: 1 )
by ammalu on
Saturday, 22nd May 2004 @ 05:26:12 AM AEST
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| good style of tellimg a story thro' a poem and impressing theme. keep it up, Sir. |
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Re: A Baby's Mind
(User Rating: 1 )
by buchi on
Saturday, 3rd July 2004 @ 04:17:40 PM AEST
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Your respect for the sublimity and pathos is inspiring!!..I love these lines , truly sublime
While creating the myriad colored nature
he asked me to choose good colors …
Which color to which flower, which fruit to which tree
and which stalk to which fruit.
Getting to know you through your poetry
HIGH FIVE!!!!
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Re: A Baby's Mind
(User Rating: 1 )
by JacobsKK on
Sunday, 3rd April 2005 @ 08:03:22 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Good Piece. Very good. |
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Re: A Baby's Mind
(User Rating: 1 )
by handsomeheart2000 on
Monday, 25th April 2005 @ 01:59:37 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Good work , but seems like a story . |
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Re: A Baby's Mind
(User Rating: 1 )
by Karazoul on
Wednesday, 23rd November 2005 @ 06:20:45 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| GOOD POEM I LIKE IT WELL DONE |
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Re: A Baby's Mind
(User Rating: 1 )
by allie_07 on
Tuesday, 25th January 2011 @ 07:08:32 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| great piece! |
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