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take what you can by dylan kellogg

Contributed by dylan14 on Thursday, 18th August 2005 @ 01:55:46 AM in AEST
Topic: Lifepoems



some times you hate this world some times you love it but one day it will all be gone so just take what you can and enjoy it..




Copyright © dylan14 ... [ 2005-08-18 01:55:46]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: take what you can by dylan kellogg (User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on Thursday, 18th August 2005 @ 02:46:29 AM AEST
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Hi dylan,
It's a great start and welcome.
huggs,
emy


Re: take what you can by dylan kellogg (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Thursday, 18th August 2005 @ 03:28:49 AM AEST
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  • Hey there Dylan.
    Nice to see there are more fellow 14-yr olds 'round here. ^^

    Your words are very true,
    and yes, welcome to YPDC, our big family.

    *hugs*

    ~KayT





  • Re: take what you can by dylan kellogg (User Rating: 1 )
    by Jenni_K on Thursday, 18th August 2005 @ 08:21:30 AM AEST
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    Sound bit of advice here, Dylan.....
    Welcome to YPDC..
    Jenni


    Re: take what you can by dylan kellogg (User Rating: 1 )
    by JenJen on Thursday, 18th August 2005 @ 11:15:52 AM AEST
    (User Info | Send a Message)
    A great poem dylan
    short but to the point
    welcome to ypdc :)
    Jenny
    xxx


    Re: take what you can by dylan kellogg (User Rating: 1 )
    by Spike on Friday, 19th August 2005 @ 12:27:27 AM AEST
    (User Info | Send a Message)
    Hi Dylan, and welcome.

    if you don't mind, I'll offer some comments that I wish I got when I was 14 yrs old.

    If you structure the post like a poem it would look better eg

    Sometimes you hate this world,
    Some times you love it
    But one day it will all be gone, so
    Just take what you can
    -and enjoy it.

    All your thoughts and feelings are still there, but the (suggested) structure and delivery is what makes it a poem, and not just a statement or story.

    There are all kinds of poetry styles, including classical, modern, rhyming, open verse. Do a bit of reading about it, have a look at other poems on the site and keep writing and experimenting. Good luck,

    Spike




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