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Her Wonderful Show
Contributed by
breny
on
Tuesday, 16th August 2005 @ 06:33:26 PM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
|
The theatre grows quiet
The lights turn down low
This is the beginning
Of a wonderful show
Act one is a girl
Who's just trying to find
Where she belongs in this world
And have peace at mind
Act two is romantic
She falls for a boy
He claims to love her
But she's played like a toy
Act three is a heartbreak
She's left lonely and cold
But with her friends by her side
She breaks free from his hold
Acts four, five, and six
Have yet to be played
And nobody knows
How many acts will be made
So this girl keeps on living
A crowd comes for the show
Some people stay
But some people go
Two people, however
Have no choice but to stay
They watch her perform
Every act of the play
They help her a little
But this play is her own
So they watch as their daughter
Puts on a wonderful show*
Copyright ©
breny
... [
2005-08-16 18:33:26]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Her Wonderful Show
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Tuesday, 16th August 2005 @ 08:16:06 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I really love this Breny.
I have often thought of life as a play, and have seen a few poems that work the same way as this does. This is, by far, the best out of them all.
I love how you describe the acts, and the 'audience'
Great write,
*hugs* Phil xxx |
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Re: Her Wonderful Show
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 16th August 2005 @ 09:18:14 PM AEST
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I gotta say bren, this is your best i ever read
timing style reading the emotions, every
thing it all falls 2gether perfect and the
subject matter i could just hear you reading
this, a work of art
kiddo . . . (((((((bren))))))
Ben |
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Re: Her Wonderful Show
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostrelic on
Tuesday, 16th August 2005 @ 09:38:51 PM AEST
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| amazing write felt it touch i hope the next scene is a grand one |
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Re: Her Wonderful Show
(User Rating: 1 )
by fielding88 on
Wednesday, 17th August 2005 @ 01:12:27 AM AEST
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| Brenna.....this was just amazing. I have no idea how you wrote something this amazing. It's just...hard to describe how good this is. It was really captivating, speaking volumes about life, and reminded me a bit of shakespeare in that you talk of life as a show (he used stage in macbeth i think). I'm trying to think of ways to put this to you, but I can't. It reads like something I'd strive to write about. You did it so brilliantly, and by far your best write to date that I've seen from you. I haven't said that already, have I? lol, if you keep outdoing yourself though, i'll keep saying it. *claps* |
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Re: Her Wonderful Show
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 30th June 2006 @ 01:59:44 PM AEST
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a Message)
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As good as ever, yet you've evolved, excellent
rhythmic continuity and yet vivd and pictureque while retaining an artist feel for the
emotions 2 express them self. lovely in every way. You still got it breny. *****
Ben |
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