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Story Part II
Contributed by
stellar
on
Tuesday, 16th August 2005 @ 05:30:41 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
Chapter 1 continued...
Christian Moore was returning home today for the first time in 2 years. He left for Detroit immediately after graduating from college and he never looked back. Maybe it was because he so desperately wanted to make a new life for himself, or maybe it was for the simple fact that he wanted to forget. Whatever the reason, he was happy in Detroit, for the most part, and had no intentions of ever going back to Chicago. That is until two weeks ago when he received an e-mail from his sister, Ana. Growing up Chris always felt very protective of Ana, and since she was only 16 when he left, he often felt guilty about leaving her alone to take care of their mother.
Even though he was nearly five years older than her, he really looked up to her and admired the strong, young woman she had become. Of course he was never very good at expressing his feelings, and so Ana carried on never knowing. If there was one thing their father taught them before he walked out, it was that emotions were a sign of the weak and not to be tolerated in his home.
_________________
For the first 5 minutes or so, they drove in silence. As close as they were, the distance and time had wedged a small but noticeable gap between the two. Though she loved her brother, Ana couldn't deny the fact that she had felt somewhat abandoned by him.
Chris was the first to break the ice. "I'm starving. Those five pretzels on the plane can only take a man so far. You wanna grab some lunch?"
She thought for a minute and remembered she had skipped breakfast herself. Suddenly feeling a pang in her stomach she replied, "Maybe just a quick bite. We really should be getting to the hospital soon."
Chris looked over at her. He noticed her jaw tense up and reached over to pat her head.
"How is he doing by the way?" he asked.
"Oh...you know. He has his good days and his bad days, but he's holding on. He's been asking about you."
Chris didn't respond, but instead changed the subject. "Do you think mom will be meeting us there?"
"Not likely. She hasn't been there to see him yet." Chris frowned at that.
Ana ignored it and pulled out her cell to call home. She knew her mother wouldn't answer but figured she would be awake soon. When the machine clicked on, Ana let her mom know she wouldn't be home for a few hours and proceeded to tell her about the coffee and aspirin and where she could find clean towels. By now, she was familiar with their mother's routine. Stumble out of bed around noon or later, down some Advil with caffeine, black, and head for the shower to wash off the remains of the night before.
When she hung up the phone she saw Chris shaking his head.
"What?" She asked annoyed.
"You know," he started, "you really shouldn't baby her like that. She's never going to change and it isn't fair for you."
"I'm not babying her. She just hasn't been feeling well this week."
"Yeah right," he scoffed. Not able to hold it in anymore he blurted out, "Man, that really ticks me off that she can't even get her sorry ass out of bed long enough to visit her own father!"
"Chris! Stop it!"
Seeing he had really upset her, he placed his hand on her head again, but this time held it there saying, "I'm sorry, Ana. I'm sorry."
He hated when he let his anger get away from him. It didn't happen very often these days. Already this trip home was bringing out the part of him he buried so far down. The part of him he tried to deny. His father.
Copyright ©
stellar
... [
2005-08-16 17:30:41]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Story Part II
(User Rating: 1 )
by Overstated on
Tuesday, 16th August 2005 @ 06:05:53 PM AEST
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a Message)
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shame your struggling for money cos this wouyld be good in the story section - but hey - i thought this was a very intriguing write and makes me wanna read the next part- find out the significance of his father
feel free to comment on my work also at: http://www.your-poetry.com/modules.php?name=Your_Account&op=userinfo&username=overstated |
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Re: Story Part II
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 16th August 2005 @ 06:47:41 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Can't wait till this story is over b/c i already want to know what happens at the end. Sucker for reading the last 2 pages of the book after reading the first couple chapters. keep up the good work. I like how you have it progressing. |
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Re: Story Part II
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Wednesday, 17th August 2005 @ 12:12:08 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Going along well! The characters are very real, and your writing style is good. I'll look forward to more.
Andrew |
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