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Praying can't change the Rules
Contributed by
wrybod
on
Tuesday, 14th January 2003 @ 08:20:00 AM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
|
The suicide had jumped and left the fourteenth floor behined,
but as he passed the twelfth, at speed, he had a change of mind.
With forehead bowed he prayed aloud
in words to that effect
and brother Paul, who took the call, connected him direct.
The Voice was firm as it explained the law of gravity.
"The unniverse depends on it and must have constancy..........
your mid-air prayer is quite unfair it really has us stumped.........
it's not as though you did not know the rules before you jumped."
Our "poor departing soul" could see the point without a doubt.
That having set it up one can't go mucking it about.
Try as he might, he could not fight a logic so profound
and so impressed, his mind at rest, he impacted the ground.
Copyright ©
wrybod
... [
2003-01-14 08:20:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Praying can't change the Rules
(User Rating: 1 )
by OreO on
Tuesday, 14th January 2003 @ 08:27:25 AM AEST
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This made me cry so hard my friend....the depth of this poem goes beyond....anything i could even describe in words....i hope this isn't how you are feeling or what you are thinking in your own mind ..it's not the answer if you are....you write beautifully ...i look forward to reading more of your poetry....
.:*~*:.OreO.:*~*:. |
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Re: Praying can't change the Rules
(User Rating: 1 )
by SmokinJoeEvil on
Tuesday, 14th January 2003 @ 11:38:45 AM AEST
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| Actually, I found the poem to have a rather comedic over-tone. The rhyming and rhythm of this poem are fantastic, and make it almost have a nursery-rhyme feel to it. The disconnect between these aspects and the subject matter only add to the poem's effectiveness in getting it's message across. Nice job! |
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Re: Praying can't change the Rules
(User Rating: 1 )
by Wrybod on
Tuesday, 14th January 2003 @ 08:35:41 PM AEST
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| Qreo. Oh dear oh dear oh dear No this is not where my life is. In fact quite the opposite I am enjoying every minute. Quite a bit more since I discovered YPDC. |
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Re: Praying can't change the Rules
(User Rating: 1 )
by Wrybod on
Tuesday, 14th January 2003 @ 08:50:29 PM AEST
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SJE Thanks, yes there is a little bit of "tongue in cheek" about it .
It's a fad of mine that poetry should have a lilt and rhyme but I hadn't analysed it . Thank you for doing so and in such a professional
way. |
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Re: Praying can't change the Rules
(User Rating: 1 )
by Slipknot555666 on
Friday, 24th January 2003 @ 05:38:28 AM AEST
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| That was great. I loved it. |
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Re: Praying can't change the Rules
(User Rating: 1 )
by Wrybod on
Tuesday, 28th January 2003 @ 03:53:32 PM AEST
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| Slipknot555666 sorry to have been so long comming back to you. I'm finding YPDC too adictive and trying to do too much, Glad you liked it. My underlying attitude to Religion is expressed on that topic and in another poem I wrote "There's got to be a better way. |
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Re: Praying can't change the Rules
(User Rating: 1 )
by LadyDama on
Monday, 17th February 2003 @ 02:14:37 PM AEST
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this one i must say, is definitely one of your
best...
the poor lad accepted his fate and was laid to
rest...
you say you just write humour to ameweze
i think your poetry is beautiful; i am not
confewezed :) |
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Re: Praying can't change the Rules
(User Rating: 1 )
by Wrybod on
Tuesday, 18th February 2003 @ 07:46:04 PM AEST
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LD
I thought I'd done this one your grace
but it got lost in cyberspace
so here i am.......reverend mother
trying hard to do another
It's nice to keep you all "amewesed"
and see ones verses well perewesed
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Re: Praying can't change the Rules
(User Rating: 1 )
by ed on
Friday, 7th March 2003 @ 12:02:05 PM AEST
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| Very true. One should not make any hasty decisions particulary when they're not thinking rationaly. Brilliant poetics. |
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Re: Praying can't change the Rules
(User Rating: 1 )
by Wrybod on
Saturday, 8th March 2003 @ 02:19:33 AM AEST
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Thank you Ed, your comment produced a wry smile When I read your other poem I must admit I feared for you sanity but that impression id dispelled by your sense of humour.. I hope to read more of yours this morning.
Thanks for the compliment. |
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Re: Praying can't change the Rules
(User Rating: 1 )
by karoody on
Sunday, 16th March 2003 @ 11:19:29 PM AEST
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| A great message here. Too many forget to check the consequences of things before they act. I do enjoy the rhyming as well. It is rare that I am able to make my mind process rhymes like that. Thanx for sharing, sir. |
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Re: Praying can't change the Rules
(User Rating: 1 )
by Wrybod on
Monday, 17th March 2003 @ 12:18:59 PM AEST
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K' Rhyming?.....before you start write down some of the key words you are going to use.....then see how many words you can list that rhyme. Take the ending through the alphabet puttng each different letter at the front.......
Don't forget good word endings that have hundreds of rhymes been seen keen lean
teen clean mean . Rose pose nose those foes toes doze . Collect them in a notebook.
I carry this sort of thing in my head (been at it a long timd)
Write your last "punch line " first then work back from it. |
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Re: Praying can't change the Rules
(User Rating: 1 )
by Wrybod on
Monday, 17th March 2003 @ 12:20:30 PM AEST
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K' Rhyming?.....before you start write down some of the key words you are going to use.....then see how many words you can list that rhyme. Take the ending through the alphabet puttng each different letter at the front.......
Don't forget good word endings that have hundreds of rhymes been seen keen lean
teen clean mean . Rose pose nose those foes toes doze . Collect them in a notebook.
I carry this sort of thing in my head (been at it a long timd)
Write your last "punch line " first then work back from it. |
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Re: Praying can't change the Rules
(User Rating: 1 )
by Wrybod on
Monday, 17th March 2003 @ 12:20:48 PM AEST
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a Message)
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K' Rhyming?.....before you start write down some of the key words you are going to use.....then see how many words you can list that rhyme. Take the ending through the alphabet puttng each different letter at the front.......
Don't forget good word endings that have hundreds of rhymes been seen keen lean
teen clean mean . Rose pose nose those foes toes doze . Collect them in a notebook.
I carry this sort of thing in my head (been at it a long timd)
Write your last "punch line " first then work back from it. |
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Re: Praying can't change the Rules
(User Rating: 1 )
by Wrybod on
Monday, 17th March 2003 @ 12:22:21 PM AEST
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a Message)
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K' Rhyming?.....before you start write down some of the key words you are going to use.....then see how many words you can list that rhyme. Take the ending through the alphabet puttng each different letter at the front.......
Don't forget good word endings that have hundreds of rhymes been seen keen lean
teen clean mean . Rose pose nose those foes toes doze . Collect them in a notebook.
I carry this sort of thing in my head (been at it a long timd)
Write your last "punch line " first then work back from it. |
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Re: Praying can't change the Rules
(User Rating: 1 )
by Gribba on
Monday, 14th April 2003 @ 08:33:06 AM AEST
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Brilliant!!! Just Brilliant!!!
this is the best part
"and brother Paul, who took the call, connected him direct. "
and
"Try as he might, he could not fight a logic so profound
and so impressed, his mind at rest, he impacted the ground. " |
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Re: Praying can't change the Rules
(User Rating: 1 )
by Wrybod on
Monday, 14th April 2003 @ 10:52:04 AM AEST
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I'm so glad you enjoyed it. I've got this "bee in my bonnet" that poetry should rhyme and scan (If it doesn't it isn't).
I've really nothing against those that write in what was called "free verse" (in my schooldays) but I can't bring myself to try it.
Try "Johnathan Pioneer Penguin" it's in the same style |
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Re: Praying can't change the Rules
(User Rating: 1 )
by norm on
Tuesday, 1st July 2003 @ 03:01:26 PM AEST
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You're some guy, Sly..no one can deny
----------------------------------------------------
Your person jumping from on high
Mattered not the fourteenth ply
To pray to stop Is sure a flop
He won't hit ground till the fourth of July..
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Re: Praying can't change the Rules
(User Rating: 1 )
by Wrybod on
Wednesday, 2nd July 2003 @ 03:02:58 AM AEST
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There you go, the same old train
we got this 4 th July again
I know you're meaning revelry
behaving celebratory
OK ot's all the same to me
pity about the waste of tea. |
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Re: Praying can't change the Rules
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Friday, 23rd January 2004 @ 04:25:29 AM AEST
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Very interesting!
It really says much and am sure will make one think bfore they jump, most definently!
this reminds me of a plate I had onece of a horse falling off the cliff sayin, Wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwooooooooooo
u ** of a *****!
Very good one my friend.
hugss, luv,
emy |
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