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Exhausted
Contributed by
cold
on
Sunday, 14th August 2005 @ 06:14:48 AM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
Maybe I'm too young
Maybe this isn't right
Maybe we're not meant to be
Maybe this feeling will only last the night
I can't sleep without you holding me,
so why are you not here?
I can't see myself without you,
apparently I haven't made that as clear
There are so many moments already
where I have had to swallow my pride
suck it up and say I'm sorry
or just leave it alone and say goodbye
I don't know what I want from you
and I guess I never really did
Copyright ©
cold
... [
2005-08-14 06:14:48]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Exhausted
(User Rating: 1 )
by mom11159 on
Sunday, 14th August 2005 @ 09:18:01 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Excellent You really know how to express yourself though your beautiful words You have a great rhyming sceme and a wonderful flow to this beautiful poem I really loved reading it a very delightful poem
Cathy |
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Re: Exhausted
(User Rating: 1 )
by Darkhorse71 on
Sunday, 14th August 2005 @ 10:13:05 AM AEST
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| Great poem with a lot of self doubt. I don't think the poem needs a couple of more lines as much as you need more answers. Thanks for sharing this and please keep writing! |
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Re: Exhausted
(User Rating: 1 )
by BtrFlyDrms on
Sunday, 14th August 2005 @ 11:51:37 AM AEST
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| I dont think this one needs anymore lines.Sometimes it is best to ends things in the direct.In pretty much ALL phases in life you will ALWAYS be left with more questions then you will find answers.Life after all is all about the stepping stones we take. good job! ~Angie |
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Re: Exhausted
(User Rating: 1 )
by cutestmofo on
Sunday, 14th August 2005 @ 01:37:54 PM AEST
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| i may not be the most poetic but i know something great when i see it and it was beautiful |
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Re: Exhausted
(User Rating: 1 )
by Ambiguity on
Sunday, 14th August 2005 @ 06:31:19 PM AEST
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I don't think it needs more lines... I kind of like shorter poems as long as they don't seem like something is missing and it doesn't seem like anything is missing in your poem. This is really good. Especially the end.
Good job,
Amber
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