|
 Menu
|
|
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
|
Two n One
Contributed by
sunkyst0608
on
Saturday, 13th August 2005 @ 12:09:00 AM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
Torn inside, I'm falling apart
Into two people, each a different heart.
One you can see in plain view, never scared of what they do
The other invisible, fearing it is what I go through.
Patience is the key they say, one part can relate
But eagerness of the other, triggers the gun of regretable fate.
Love and happiness is only a small part in one's lively years
While hate and sorrow is ever growing behind these loud tears.
I ask again and again will my two hearts ever mend,?
As anger grows cold, or will my weak side fall and cast into my shadow until there's nothing to defend.
Waiting is all I can do until I fade
Fade into oblivion, filled with dark thoughts and heavy shade.
I hope the wait is long so I can look into my lie,
Of being one when actually I'm in two and figuring out how to say goodbye.
Copyright ©
sunkyst0608
... [
2005-08-13 00:09:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: Two n One
(User Rating: 1 )
by Ineedanap on
Saturday, 13th August 2005 @ 12:15:00 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Good write. Powerful. I can really relate
|
|
|
Re: Two n One
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Saturday, 13th August 2005 @ 12:48:03 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| anger pushes you when you cannot go further on your own. your description was intriguing, which is a lot more than i can say for a lot of the pointless ones used. but anger usually likes being the only one, the only emotion. i would say that sense this is a rhyming piece, the sheer length of the "as anger grows cold" line completely offset the rest of the piece, because it was awkard with considerably more words than the others. your ending was excellent. your beginning is what really stands out though, because it started out strong, it started out right. i think this poem needs no description, because your poem does the concept much more justice than it need have. |
|
|
|
· 
Poetry
Community
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
