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Cleanse Myself
Contributed by
AshRayne
on
Friday, 12th August 2005 @ 04:28:07 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Cold water falls,
From the sky above.
I step into its clutches
Cleanse me from all sin.
Eyes can’t look beyond,
What the skin conceals,
But I feel it burning,
Feeling from within.
The rain washes over me,
Cold, I can feel.
But it doesn’t bother me,
My heat meets its match.
A night dance,
Swirling rage,
Between the rain and me,
A flood a pure energy.
Looking up,
The dark sky,
Look, a soft blanket,
It comforts me.
Cleansing myself,
Dancing naked in the rain,
I am soaked,
But I do not feel cold.
I look up once more,
A last glance for luck,
I’m surprised I keep my eyes open,
For they are what burn now.
I recollect myself,
Remember who I am,
Try to feel myself
For now I wonder how.
Why is rain so cold?
Why do I feel alone?
I must wash my past away,
Cold chill is a small price.
Copyright ©
AshRayne
... [
2005-08-12 16:28:07]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Cleanse Myself
(User Rating: 1 )
by poet70 on
Friday, 12th August 2005 @ 05:17:29 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
this was a very interesting poem, I really liked it, but at the end your ryming kind of faded, but no real biggy, it still was a touching and moving poem.
Tammi |
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Re: Cleanse Myself
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 13th August 2005 @ 12:13:15 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
Beautifuly presented in it's content and well
crafted effective in meaning i got lost in it, you
are a very good poet . . .
Ben |
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Re: Cleanse Myself
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Saturday, 13th August 2005 @ 11:55:22 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
May we walk in the Light, indeed. I salute your message.
But it does feel a little like a tangent, like the poem doesn't quite match up with the expressed thoughts. In my perception, at least.
I do very much like those two last lines.
Keep it up!
Andrew |
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Re: Cleanse Myself
(User Rating: 1 )
by justice on
Tuesday, 25th October 2005 @ 03:02:09 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Nice job! A unique discription for the rain. I must applaud you effort. Loved the ending. If only the rain could wash the past away its cold chill would be a price too small to pay. |
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