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This song
Contributed by
lostinmyself
on
Friday, 12th August 2005 @ 01:52:59 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
The rain seems to fit this song,
As if the drops are soaking into the words...
To make them more real somehow.
And the rest of the world is suddenly silent,
Because the wind seems to have forgotten,
That it needs to blow,
And the birds have realized they can not sing,
While the rivers have stopped their flow.
A parents voice seems hushed,
Her child's cry, not so loud,
The world stopped for a moment,
As the song rained from the clouds.
And the rest of the world is praying,
To end the silence' cry,
But the air, it carries messages,
From the noise; It says 'goodbye',
And mist decends upon us,
Though nothing can be seen,
The world has stopped it's turning,
It's sitting, listening.
[And the song it goes on playing,
In defiance of the sun,
And the rain just keeps on pouring,
Coming down on everyone.]
Because the rain just seems to fit this song,
As if the drops are soaking into the words...
And making them more real somehow...
Copyright ©
lostinmyself
... [
2005-08-12 13:52:59]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: This song
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Friday, 12th August 2005 @ 02:32:07 PM AEST
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Wow. This is lovely. So full of emotion, but emotion that a true master artist's touch has made far more than it could be otherwise.
I'll come back to this one, I am certain. Well done, my good friend.
Andrew |
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Re: This song
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Friday, 12th August 2005 @ 03:45:15 PM AEST
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Very nice raw emotion Philly...Your words gave off some clear imagery. Well done! I especially liked the fourth stanza, and how you repeated the opening lines at the end.
Scorp. |
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Re: This song
(User Rating: 1 )
by Demonic_Depression_7625 on
Saturday, 13th August 2005 @ 12:14:57 AM AEST
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wow. i found that fairly emotional :)
you did a very good job writing it! |
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Re: This song
(User Rating: 1 )
by Nazmythian on
Monday, 15th August 2005 @ 04:21:24 PM AEST
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Phil ... no editing need be done ... I truly enjoyed reading this. I get images of a desert, moments before a rare rain ... where everything just stops, stills and listens for the sounds of the water to begin to fall. That is what I see ... but what I feel ... is that it is ok to want, need and let the rain come sometimes, and eventually the rain will pass and life will be renewed because of it.
Nazzy ~ |
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Re: This song
(User Rating: 1 )
by Overstated on
Tuesday, 16th August 2005 @ 06:21:32 PM AEST
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| worth a repost i think mate - a very tight well worked poem... well played :) |
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Re: This song
(User Rating: 1 )
by Willofree on
Wednesday, 17th August 2005 @ 01:29:11 PM AEST
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This is a beautiful poem, loaded with wonder ful imagery. The use of rain seems a powerjul metaphor.
Excellant write, Phil
Will |
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Re: This song
(User Rating: 1 )
by breny on
Wednesday, 17th August 2005 @ 02:17:47 PM AEST
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Wow I love the metaphor that you use in this poem.
It helps express your feelings more powerfully and it makes the write more interesting.
Wonderful Job with this one Phil!
~Brenna~ |
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Re: This song
(User Rating: 1 )
by arakrune on
Wednesday, 17th August 2005 @ 09:53:29 PM AEST
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very cool
love this
most likely due to my love of the rain |
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Re: This song
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 21st August 2005 @ 07:34:56 AM AEST
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| I'm glad you reposted it coz it gave me a chance to read it ,I thought it was great,,my hats off to you.... |
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Re: This song
(User Rating: 1 )
by BloodyTears5 on
Sunday, 21st August 2005 @ 09:16:03 AM AEST
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ooo i loved it!! *claps*
~Sarah |
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Re: This song
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Monday, 22nd August 2005 @ 05:04:54 PM AEST
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Wow!!!! I have no words for this. It just leaves you staring at it in awe on the realness of it.
It's something you needed to put in a paper and im glad you did. I always thought you learned something new from a friend/stranger and i was right.
This was a well written piece Philly, and i'm glad you re-posted this.
*hugs*
Jane~ |
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Re: This song
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 24th August 2005 @ 10:11:20 AM AEST
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I am so glad you reposted this.
I remember the first was during a difficult time for you.
Yet this piece which eminates such sadness and longing...missing...is very specially put.
The rain, it goes with sadness, yet it covers up, hides, releases, heals.
I have always said your writes feel
This is no exception, as a matter of fact, this is the perfect example!. |
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Re: This song
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Thursday, 25th August 2005 @ 01:27:20 AM AEST
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good work. I can sleep like a baby when it's raining.
huggs,
emy |
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Re: This song
(User Rating: 1 )
by WAE on
Monday, 12th September 2005 @ 04:27:41 PM AEST
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This is something very professional and mature. You don't care for rhyming what releases your creative potential! Thumb up!
Alex |
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Re: This song
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 6th December 2005 @ 10:37:50 PM AEST
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Well, PhikkyG, you seem to underestimate yourself. I think this is beautiful. It flows so well it is melodic and could very well be a beautiful and inspirational song. If not a song, then it is a beautiful and inspirational piece of work. It is indeed musical to both my eyes and ears. Wonderful imagery.
You are both beautiful as a person and a writer. You definitely have a brilliant talent.
Thank you for sharing that talent.
Tim
:-) |
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