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Emptieness
Contributed by
BEBE
on
Friday, 12th August 2005 @ 12:54:54 AM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
WHat is this emptieness inside. I run and run, but now theres just know where to hide.
What happened to all my joy, my love? where could it have possibly gone?
I guess somewhere so deep that now my dispair and rage has consumed my sould. so dark so slain.
Copyright ©
BEBE
... [
2005-08-12 00:54:54]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Emptieness
(User Rating: 1 )
by Ineedanap on
Friday, 12th August 2005 @ 12:58:05 AM AEST
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Short and simple. Kinda needs an ending, lol. Good write
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Re: Emptieness
(User Rating: 1 )
by Archie on
Friday, 12th August 2005 @ 01:20:53 AM AEST
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I think this is perfect.
"Dark wounds hid with in each man
as he goes about his plans
tearing pain gnashes his soul
because of problems manifold
and yet there is escape for such
who keep their faith and keep in touch
spoken words will soothe the heart
inspiring love that they'll impart" |
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Re: Emptieness
(User Rating: 1 )
by holderofthestone on
Friday, 12th August 2005 @ 01:37:40 AM AEST
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| captured perfectly! |
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Re: Emptieness
(User Rating: 1 )
by MorningDove on
Friday, 12th August 2005 @ 02:05:55 AM AEST
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I understand what you are trying to say here. I do think that if you had it structured properly and edited some spelling it would not look so short and you would find a great ending for it so as to not be so abrupt. Otherwise, I enjoyed it.
Rita |
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Re: Emptieness
(User Rating: 1 )
by wikedladi on
Friday, 12th August 2005 @ 02:13:16 AM AEST
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| lovely short poem! sometimes it takes less effort to give into the dark than to struggle toward the light. |
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