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If....
Contributed by
xxbreathlessx
on
Thursday, 11th August 2005 @ 10:18:14 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
If the moons kiss were as magnetic as the sun’s touch
Then let its lips die against my cheek.
If the planets orbit can get me as
Drunk as the darkest wine on earth
Then let its drops dissipate as they hit my skin.
If the ocean’s burst of breath can ignite
The feelings we hide then let its last gasp
Hang in between the empty spaces amongst my fingers.
If lightning’s volt can instill the life
We’ve dismissed as everyday normal
Then let its electric hand brush my hand .
If the thunder’s roar can speak us into
A long hypnotic trance
Where words become pictures and pictures become
Life
Then let it scream to us so that our ears bleed comprehension.
If your touch can overcome
the moons blessed magnetism
And the planet’s deep intoxication,
The oceans inhalation through its cold lips,
the energy a single stroke can make,
And the thunder’s cry for life ,
Then your touch is pure ecstasy,
A drug, a wonder,
Perfection.
Copyright ©
xxbreathlessx
... [
2005-08-11 22:18:14]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: If....
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 11th August 2005 @ 10:38:05 PM AEST
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| Good write and i know how that touch feels. Liked the poem and how you made it all come together at the end. keep up the good work |
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Re: If....
(User Rating: 1 )
by MorningDove on
Thursday, 11th August 2005 @ 11:12:55 PM AEST
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Your imagery is splendid. The emotions at the end almost overwhelming. I am still looking for that perfection . . .
Smiles,
Rita |
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Re: If....
(User Rating: 1 )
by Archie on
Thursday, 11th August 2005 @ 11:54:15 PM AEST
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| Awesome poem. Your words are very inspiring and thought provoking. |
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Re: If....
(User Rating: 1 )
by reflections on
Friday, 12th August 2005 @ 07:09:11 PM AEST
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Xxbreathlessx:
Thanks for the link to your page. I read two of your poems. I started with your April post, “First Kiss”. I surmise from the poem that you are a young lady. The words used, and way they were woven together, leaves me with the thought that you are not an extremely young juvenile (since the first kiss was some two years past). The last poem, “IF” struck me as the words of a really talented writer. I don’t know your age, but you’ve come a long way from your first encounter with life as is while growing up. As a sixty-nine year old father of seven, including three daughters; plus a number of grand-daughters among my thirty-four grand’s and great-grand’s, let me compliment you on you attitude, your self-awareness, and most of all the style with which you display your writing talents. Take life, and writing as they come to you. You have a good mind, plenty of savvy, and most of all . . . you’re in control. Keep it simple; roll with the punches, and keep writing. I’ll stop by to read and comment occasionally. Cheers!
John
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Re: If....
(User Rating: 1 )
by Sahara on
Sunday, 14th August 2005 @ 03:24:57 PM AEST
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| Such a beautiful write, I don't know where to begin my praise. |
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Re: If....
(User Rating: 1 )
by Sann971 on
Sunday, 19th November 2006 @ 05:58:15 PM AEST
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i really enjoy your poems and the wordings
you are an exceptional artist in the like and i wish you the best always
your friend,
xx~Willow~xx |
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