|
Menu
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
A difference (modified from a different road)
Contributed by
Archie
on
Thursday, 11th August 2005 @ 11:56:59 AM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
|
We long to touch the masses
by the workings of our hand
to impart some kind of wisdom unto them
Ideas pop into mind
from our circumstance
and how badly we hope that we can share them
Everyone hears our voice they all don't listen
Everyone sees our life yet don't understand
I used to want to change the whole wide world
It's only important now to change one man
Ambitions are within us
to control our world
we hold them in a secret place in thimbles
We labor climbing higher
the mountain of scorn
We reach the summit
all our work for nothing
People see our shadows they don't see us
our gestures are but whispers in the breeze
I used to think I had to convert everyone
but it is much more of import to convert me
So when the edge of our circle touches another
realize the tanget will not be that big
It's that life we live that will convert our brother
not the eloquence we try so hard to give
Notes- I was thinking about my last year on this site and how I do not get a lot of reads for my poetry and I realized what I actually felt was jealousy. Since being on this site I have helped quite a few people. My words have inspired and helped people cope including myself. I looked back at all the things I said in the forums some of them were a little unfair. I ask myself am I different now than then and my answer to that is this poem. I think the person who needed my words the most was me. I don't say that in a selfish way and I hope the reader can see the same things in their own writings.
To those who put up with my poetry and songs i am grateful.
To those I have inspired I am glad.
To those I have not met I'm glad to meet you.
And to those who just don't get me that is fine.
We are all fellow writers that's our lifestyle
and I hope we pen our trade with words of glee
I hope we respect and help each other
It is then that writing will truly make us free
Copyright ©
Archie
... [
2005-08-11 11:56:59] (Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment. That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: A difference (modified from a different road)
(User Rating: 1 ) by faerie on
Thursday, 11th August 2005 @ 12:10:01 PM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
I really like all the personification you use in this poem. Each line has a life of it's own. I was also impressed that you learned something from your own poem. I think that as writers, we often crave the attention of others and their comments or critiques, but we usually don't look back at the poem and see how it has changed us personally. You know you have grown as a writer when this occurs. I also had a question, why the word thimbles? Just curious....does it have a more significant meaning, or did it just come to mind? |
|
|
Re: A difference (modified from a different road)
(User Rating: 1 ) by faerie on
Thursday, 11th August 2005 @ 12:10:34 PM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
I really like all the personification you use in this poem. Each line has a life of it's own. I was also impressed that you learned something from your own poem. I think that as writers, we often crave the attention of others and their comments or critiques, but we usually don't look back at the poem and see how it has changed us personally. You know you have grown as a writer when this occurs. I also had a question, why the word thimbles? Just curious....does it have a more significant meaning, or did it just come to mind? |
|
|
Re: A difference (modified from a different road)
(User Rating: 1 ) by SirensLight on
Thursday, 11th August 2005 @ 12:14:44 PM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
A very good job on this poem.. it reminds me of my own struggles. Keep at it. Sometimes we have to write the words before we can understand them and let them affect us. |
|
|
Re: A difference (modified from a different road)
(User Rating: 1 ) by bernard2 on
Thursday, 11th August 2005 @ 12:41:21 PM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Archie there is a lot of truth in your words as specified in your excellent poem. I too wonder sometimes why my stories or poems are being commented on as I would like but then who am I to tell someone else to comment on something that perhaps in their eyes is perhaps drivel. Now I am grateful when i get any comments good or bad it means that someone,somewhere has looked at what I have written.All the best from bernard2 |
|
|
Re: A difference (modified from a different road)
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Thursday, 11th August 2005 @ 01:35:32 PM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
I liked this write very much, Archie. I suspect we are lucky in that we can impact other people while we are still *alive*. When I write about particular situations, I try to write about my intentions in that situation and how I *feel* about things. It... reflects my life as accurately as I can depict it. Unfortunately sometimes, *part*, but not all of that is lived online - at times more than others.
My poems are stories of me searching for answers and trying to come to terms with the sometimes ugly moments of other people's intentions as experienced in my own yearnings for peace within self. It's hard to live with fingers being pointed at you and not have the natural response to be explaining yourself and/or pointing *back*. Therein lies *conversation* and that's where I think the difference between online and offline poets may lie. We all want to communicate... something, or we wouldn't write. I'm... never sure how to deal with lack of respect and it causes me more grief than I know how to deal with.
Anyway, your poem inspires thought - and that is *always* a good thing. |
|
|
Re: A difference (modified from a different road)
(User Rating: 1 ) by anitajames on
Thursday, 11th August 2005 @ 03:51:37 PM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
"I used to want to change the whole wide world
Its only important now to change one man"
Very true and profound statement. I'd would have to say it shows your maturity. Don't ever stop writing because writing does truly make you free.
anita |
|
|
|