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Life's a cold stage
Contributed by
In_a_While
on
Tuesday, 9th August 2005 @ 09:52:14 AM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
|
pillows and dreams, i can't stop the streams
of temptations to become comatose
pills and a drink, of all things i can't think
there's nothing better to toast
than to a cold night! alone after light!
when nightmares are mine to be had
tossing and turning, the bedsheets seem burning
this depression now seems to be glad
flames from the candles, reveal no more handles
was i ever really in control?
the shadows will shiver, before they deliver
the truth of what lurks in my soul
that i'm destined for six, under earth and dry sticks
much too soon for my age
my art has been showing, that in my heart it's been snowing
my life is what plays on a stage
i seek no one's fame, and i'm sure i won't blame
the world for its cold hearted touch
every day's one more pin, stabbing deeper within
words express only so much
paint me the sky
save me from God
i'm not made for heaven
hate's all that i got
help me discover
that pills cannot help
tell me i love her
cause i can't love myself.
dw
Copyright ©
In_a_While
... [
2005-08-09 09:52:14]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Life's a cold stage
(User Rating: 1 )
by vibes2go on
Tuesday, 9th August 2005 @ 11:30:52 AM AEST
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| awwww ... no pillls can't help. God can, because He is all love, but only if you choose to believe that .. and you could let go of the hate, if you chose to do that. Just let go .. because the only person it harms or affects is you .. whatever or whoever you hate don't even care .. so what's the use? use your energy on better things .. |
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Re: Life's a cold stage
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 9th August 2005 @ 02:21:00 PM AEST
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I like the rhyme pattern U used here. The way you ended it makes the last stanza really stand out. And yeah, it is hard to love sumone when you can't love yourself first.
D.Sapelo |
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Re: Life's a cold stage
(User Rating: 1 )
by WAE on
Thursday, 22nd September 2005 @ 03:08:45 PM AEST
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Hey dw,
I liked this one some lines are very energetic if this is the word:
tossing and turning, the bedsheets seem burning
and:
the shadows will shiver, before they deliver
the truth of what lurks in my soul
Good luck,
Alex
P.S. More detailed opinion if requested...LOL
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Re: Life's a cold stage
(User Rating: 1 )
by weepingprophet on
Friday, 7th October 2005 @ 03:25:30 PM AEST
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To me the last stanza is desperate and pure in its hope, to love. Loving someone else is often what saves me from the constant truth and cold hard recognition that I can't love myself, I just can't. In giving myself something precious to treasure I lose sight of my self hatred and move forward for the sake of my loved one, I picked up a similiarity here in your peice in this last stanza " tell me i love her, cause i can't love myself." I may not be right but that is what i read and re-read to embrace this artistry. Beautifully written and layered for re-reading!
~I can't pry the blade from my hand, fight me oh love, wrestle, demand. That i hold this or you, and i'll pick what is true, the love in my heart. Here, i lay down my art.~weepingprophet |
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