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Your Worst Critic
Contributed by
Unbreakable
on
Monday, 8th August 2005 @ 09:25:18 PM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
|
I hate the sight of you
that you're ugly and vain
and so self-involved that
Your composure's been slain
You'll never be good enough
At least not in my eyes
I can see you're conceited
though you're nobody's prize
You think you look great
you take every glance in
didn't anyone ever tell you,
that vanity is a sin?
You can't pass a mirror
without checking yourself out
you live in a world
that is unbound by doubt
Your nose is too narrow
your calves are too thin
you have so many flaws
there's no way you can win
Your eyes are far apart
and your toes are too long
"An image of beauty,"
you think, but you're wrong
And without brains or beauty
you'll never meet your goals
I guess God's perfect plan
just had too many holes
You're in a vicous cycle
because you need to look good
so you can't be yourself
you can't be what you should
One day you'll die
you'll have just been a face
no one will remember
gone without a trace
People lose who they are
in themselves, they can't see
everyone is their own worst critic
so, you're worst critic is...me
Copyright ©
Unbreakable
... [
2005-08-08 21:25:18]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Your Worst Critic
(User Rating: 1 )
by SiLeNtxxThunder on
Monday, 8th August 2005 @ 09:43:29 PM AEST
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"......I guess God's perfect plan
just had too many holes..."
i like that part.
well done with the poem =) |
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Re: Your Worst Critic
(User Rating: 1 )
by SiLeNtxxThunder on
Monday, 8th August 2005 @ 09:43:30 PM AEST
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"......I guess God's perfect plan
just had too many holes..."
i like that part.
well done with the poem =) |
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Re: Your Worst Critic
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Monday, 8th August 2005 @ 10:04:04 PM AEST
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| ::applauds:: this is one the of the best poems ive read in a long time, which is surprising since i hardly like poems this long, the writer tends to bore me by 2nd stanza, but this one didnt. your ending was excellent. very good rhyme scheme. |
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Re: Your Worst Critic
(User Rating: 1 )
by MorningDove on
Monday, 8th August 2005 @ 10:05:49 PM AEST
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This is a great write. Most people know this but won't admit it. We are our own worst critics. We might as well be ourselves for that is all we have. We may paint it, hide it, pretend otherwise, but you cannot truly change what you are. Facades are fake and people generally realize that. Hope you can bolster your strength and begin to see you are exactly who you are supposed to be in this universe.
Smiles,
Rita |
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Re: Your Worst Critic
(User Rating: 1 )
by smilez101 on
Monday, 8th August 2005 @ 10:48:08 PM AEST
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This is a really good poem. The part I liked the best in your poem was when you said
One day you'll die
you'll have just been a face
no one will remember
gone without a trace
I liked this part because this is what many people are afraid of
a really good write |
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Re: Your Worst Critic
(User Rating: 1 )
by pUnKa_RaCh on
Monday, 8th August 2005 @ 10:50:40 PM AEST
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your words do indeed hold a lot of truth....I like the realization at the end, very well written.
yes, sometimes we our worst enemy.
insightful write, I really liked reading it.
Thanks for posting! |
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Re: Your Worst Critic
(User Rating: 1 )
by fielding88 on
Wednesday, 12th October 2005 @ 10:30:08 PM AEST
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Ah, the joys of vanity...*rolls eyes*
Brilliantly done here. I didn't notice how long the write actaully was either until I looked it over again. The rhyme scheme you had just allowed me to breeze through it, and I think that's one of the most important aspects of your writes that I enjoy. It was so easy to relate to this write of yours as well, as I've longed to write a piece on this topic but could never find the words. It's nice to see someone else do it so well. Beautiful piece, yet again. |
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