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Footsteps
Contributed by
AshRayne
on
Monday, 8th August 2005 @ 08:03:27 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Sitting on the sill,
Looking out on darkness,
And a path of light.
Nothing is moving,
On the barren wasteland,
Of ice and snow
But then I see holes,
In the white clouds,
That lie on the floor,
Someone has been here.
I follow with my eyes,
Keen in the dark,
To a shadow,
‘Tis only a reflection,
From the shattered glass,
Or so I think.
Until I see it move.
Closer,
Closer,
Edging nearer,
Walking toward me,
Calling me out,
Out into the darkness.
Staying off the path,
Closer,
Closer,
Nearer he comes still,
As I watch in silence,
From my window pane
Not flinching in the least,
Stone could not stand more stiffly,
A glossy gaze watches,
And waits to make the move.
He stops,
My eyes widen,
I raise a hand slowly to the glass,
As I do,
He does,
He’s mimicking me!
Copying my every move,
Reflection of fear,
Shocked,
Amazed.
But then I realize,
That I am him,
And he is me,
But then I’m not so sure,
Because the next thing I know,
He’s gone.
Only footsteps remain.
Copyright ©
AshRayne
... [
2005-08-08 20:03:27]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Footsteps
(User Rating: 1 )
by RPFARGONE on
Monday, 8th August 2005 @ 09:11:56 PM AEST
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a Message)
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THIS IS OUTSTEANDING YOU HAVE A WAY WITH WORDS MY ONLY ?? IS WHO WAS HE!!
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Re: Footsteps
(User Rating: 1 )
by rockergirl94 on
Tuesday, 9th August 2005 @ 12:32:25 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Words so familiar, but yet so fresh. The mirror concept has been used so many times before, but you put a new spin on it.
Your poem was really descriptive- as I read it, I can really see the events happening in my mind.
I really liked your ending line, it left the reader off on a deep note, wondering about the true meaning behind those words.
Only footsteps remain...
- Julie |
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Re: Footsteps
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 9th August 2005 @ 01:24:37 PM AEST
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a Message)
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A chilling peice compelling 2 read well done . . .
Ben |
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Re: Footsteps
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Friday, 24th February 2006 @ 06:23:51 PM AEST
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a Message)
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A thrilling write very well penned. I like the way you bring this across to ur reader. You leave them in suspense and on the edge of their seats. Well done ~*Ash*~
*warm hugs*
~sue~ |
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