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Illumination
Contributed by
Silent-No-More
on
Monday, 8th August 2005 @ 03:20:07 PM in AEST
Topic:
DreamsandWishes
|
I have another place now.
There I leave the windows wide open
And keep the doors unlocked.
There, time reveals itself in the fading
Of the old, wooden floors,
Marked by the coming and going
Of sunbeams each day.
And there…
The moon arrives each night
To hear what I have to say.
I have another place now.
There everything finds new beauty
In the wake of fallen rain.
There, days ebb and flow with the rhythm
Of a long forgotten clock,
Marking the passing of moments
Until I am there to stay.
For there...
Is where I’ll find myself
When I finally slip away.
I have another place now
And I remind myself of it
As I go about this place
Drawing curtains and locking locks,
Hanging images of that place on the wall
And watching clocks.
I have another place now
And I am (as I am always)
At least half way there.
I have another place now…
And the rest of me
lives there.
Copyright ©
Silent-No-More
... [
2005-08-08 15:20:07]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Illumination
(User Rating: 1 )
by xXx_Fem_Fatale_xXx on
Monday, 8th August 2005 @ 03:48:54 PM AEST
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Lovely poem....
Loved the part where it says :
I have another place now.
There everything finds new beauty
In the wake of fallen rain.
There, days ebb and flow with the rhythm
Of a long forgotten clock,
Well done!
Huggsss,
Nats
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Re: Illumination
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 8th August 2005 @ 04:26:26 PM AEST
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To me, this sounds like heaven.
To me ... this sounds like,
Going home.
DSapelo |
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Re: Illumination
(User Rating: 1 )
by anitajames on
Monday, 8th August 2005 @ 04:43:22 PM AEST
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| haven't we all wanted and dreamed of another place. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we didn't need to? Good job! |
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Re: Illumination
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stitch on
Monday, 8th August 2005 @ 06:08:50 PM AEST
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We need a category for renewal poetry...do we have one? I didn't see it.... I hope this place becomes real to you. New places (like new cars) are often so very good.
Stitch
(glad to be in a new place) |
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Re: Illumination
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rakerman1999 on
Monday, 8th August 2005 @ 06:41:05 PM AEST
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Something about this made me smile... maybe the feeling of contentment I get from it...maybe the softness and honesty of your words..in any case, this is beautiful and heart warming
Very well done my friend
Roses
Larry |
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Re: Illumination
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Tuesday, 9th August 2005 @ 01:14:34 AM AEST
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Very effective piece Snemmy...I could relate to this word for word...Isn't it so nice to find a place deep in your soul that is so gleefully free?
Gosh, sometimes it's so damn hard to find that safe zone, but when you do it's frightfully easy to stay : )
Your expression in this write is fantastic, but even in the forums it is: )
I especially love the last two stanzas. Well done.
Scorp.
(Who thinks the title is well suited) |
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Re: Illumination
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Tuesday, 9th August 2005 @ 03:30:53 AM AEST
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This poem is special for what it says. The beauty of the idea, the joy with which it is revealed, the, well, the wholeness about it. It's like a breath of wind straight from between the stars (where the freshest and purest air comes from, naturally).
Well done!
Andrew |
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Re: Illumination
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kie on
Tuesday, 9th August 2005 @ 07:56:37 AM AEST
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I felt a lyrical presence in your poem. But more importantly--I wondered what it feels like to find yourself in your own sanctuary.
I haven't found that yet.
It is a beautiful poem SNM, that brought deep thoughts and I had to fight the tears although this wasn't sad.
Well when you write you certainly write!
Kie |
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Re: Illumination
(User Rating: 1 )
by freckle on
Tuesday, 9th August 2005 @ 08:57:12 PM AEST
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Oh Snem, what a lovely write. You made me long to go there...to rest and be at peace...to watch the sunbeams and smell the warmed wood.
Wonderful descriptions and an easy, relaxed flow. I love the ending.....lately I have been caught up in 'here' and I sure need to go to my other place soon....
Thanks for sharing this peaceful poem.
Carol |
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Re: Illumination
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on
Sunday, 14th August 2005 @ 12:11:04 AM AEST
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Inspiring piece...makes me wonder about my life in recent years. Thanks for sharing this..
Jenni |
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Re: Illumination
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 29th August 2005 @ 02:45:23 AM AEST
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| beautiful poem, brought a tear to my eye,I loved this it was so full of emotion so I thank you for the good read,,,,, |
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Re: Illumination
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Thursday, 1st September 2005 @ 06:46:29 PM AEST
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God i feel like crying when i read this. I'm really emtional right now which tend to make me really dramatic. Ughh!!!!!
I have another place now.
There everything finds new beauty
In the wake of fallen rain.
There, days ebb and flow with the rhythm
Of a long forgotten clock,
Marking the passing of moments
Until I am there to stay.
For there...
Is where I’ll find myself
When I finally slip away
I love that stanza Snemmers. Thank you for sharing it.
Jane~ |
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Re: Illumination
(User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on
Friday, 2nd September 2005 @ 08:52:25 PM AEST
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Snemm,
That second stanza is brilliant-
and your diction is superb-
I really enjoyed this-
B |
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Re: Illumination
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 2nd September 2005 @ 10:48:12 PM AEST
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First stanza feels so country like. Safe, way out there in the woods, wide open sky, dreaming away , then in Second stanza I realize a loss has been, and the heart is waning like the moon, becoming less powerful, trying to go back to what once was beautiful, a sincere heart broken. Memories of where you could go, no worries.. doors open, didn't have to lock yourself in.
The First stanza is a dreaming beginning, kind of wishing things were as they used to be. No worries, didn't have to watch the clock, all things were in place, just carried out a normal day.
Then in the third stanza it is clear of what you have lossed, now everything stands out more clear, more noticable, the loss.
The fourth and fifth stanzas, show you as you are, trying to resolve what is left of your heart, a long time learning lessons in life for whatever they are. A sense of feeling there is hope, halfway toward a goal where in which you have tried to capture, leaving a special place, and last place to try to live out a part of your heart that you never gave away. And that is the place now where you are.
Ok, I took a stab at it. I enjoyed the feeling I got out of it. The poem sent several pictures and feelings.
Nice write that moves from one place to another until you finally realize where the rest of you really is, finding who you truly are, and where you can rest reassured of a serene and safe place.
Be well, and thank you for a lovely poem
Raquel Leah :D
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Re: Illumination
(User Rating: 1 )
by Trippychick on
Wednesday, 23rd November 2005 @ 01:04:20 PM AEST
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| Now that I am playing catch-up with your poems (since I have been away from this site for far too long) I am happy. I love this one, and the fact that it was posted on a great day was even better!!! Makes me forget that you didn't even call to say happy b-day...makes me think of how I've felt since dad left...makes me very happy that you found a happy place of your own. Love ya sis, and thanks for your beautiful poetry! |
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Re: Illumination
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 18th June 2006 @ 12:18:19 AM AEST
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| It's really nice you can go to that "place" isn't it? A lovely and brilliant poem. |
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Re: Illumination
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 1st July 2006 @ 06:25:58 AM AEST
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Snemmy,
I can't help but be swept away by not only the words so flawlessly scripted, but the emotions
and feel of this write as well. This place you speak of could be, for many, just a sanctuary
within their own troubled thoughts.. a place of comfort and safety and truth and yes.. love.
I am completely blown away by the power of this! I found meaning in here that I would not
have a few months ago .. thank you for that. It speaks to me of hope somehow .. that
everything I desire should and will be mine.
A true gem.
~Breezy |
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