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Battle Cries
Contributed by
Rakerman1999
on
Monday, 8th August 2005 @ 07:13:05 AM in AEST
Topic:
anguished
|
Broken man with sunken eyes
He's heard the drums and battle cries
An endless war or so it seems
This fight to keep alive his dreams
But years have taken quite a toll
His demons in complete control
A life of vain and fruitless toils
Now to the victor go the spoils
It's hard to swallow, this defeat
A loss so total and complete
He's beaten 'til no hope remains
A wounded soldier vents his pains
In screams of anguish, loud and wild
And waves of tears as if a child
Who's lost and far away from home
Alone and left to ever roam
His enemies, with flags unfurled
Will burn and rape his perfect world
While shackled, he must watch it all
The city sacked, the walls will fall
His treasured plans are whisked away
His foes now shake the head and say
"Let's kill this fool who dared to trust"
Then pierce his heart with dagger's thrust.
L. Carling c2005
Copyright ©
Rakerman1999
... [
2005-08-08 07:13:05]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Battle Cries
(User Rating: 1 )
by sandypoet on
Monday, 8th August 2005 @ 07:19:03 AM AEST
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| The picture you painted here, wow. my thoughts go out to my dear brother over in iraq,Wish he would come home. great write. |
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Re: Battle Cries
(User Rating: 1 )
by venkat on
Monday, 8th August 2005 @ 07:50:36 AM AEST
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Heaven beats with rods pain and finally uses its dagger thrust to pierce the heart of a man. aah!!!
venkat |
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Re: Battle Cries
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Monday, 8th August 2005 @ 09:25:18 AM AEST
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Only a true poetic genius could come up with this. I guess you are one a very good one in that matter.
This was outstanding keep them coming.
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Re: Battle Cries
(User Rating: 1 )
by Archie on
Monday, 8th August 2005 @ 09:38:56 AM AEST
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| I don't want to go their. The poem of the cynic. I hope no one turns out this way. Unfortunately some will. |
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Re: Battle Cries
(User Rating: 1 )
by vibes2go on
Monday, 8th August 2005 @ 12:43:23 PM AEST
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another veiled metaphor.. leaving people wondering ..
ok .. take off the veil and say what you mean. That would be a change..(grins) .. Let's all ask for funds when our family is in dire straits .. My son is homeless... he can't work because of his paranoia; can anyone help? ... I am not trying to put a dagger anywhere .. I just want to know why when he makes so much money already.. he asks for more.. You work ..and you aren't begging .. that I know of. |
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Re: Battle Cries
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rakerman1999 on
Monday, 8th August 2005 @ 01:19:22 PM AEST
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Re: Battle Cries (User Rating: 1)
by vibes2go on Monday, August 08 2005 @ 12:43:23 CDT
(User Info | Send a Message) http://www.rhymingbear.com
another veiled metaphor.. leaving people wondering ..
ok .. take off the veil and say what you mean. That would be a change..(grins) .. Let's all ask for funds when our family is in dire straits .. My son is homeless... he can't work because of his paranoia; can anyone help? ... I am not trying to put a dagger anywhere .. I just want to know why when he makes so much money already.. he asks for more.. You work ..and you aren't begging .. that I know of.
What the HELL are you talking about? This has nothing to do with this site. In my eyes life is a bit more important than a web site. This is about my best friend and all the rotten crap that forced him to leave this state..lost his home, job and family so please dont degrade this " close to my heart" write by entering it into the arena of petty bickering over who does and doesnt denate or who is or isnt a greedy begger
I'll thank you in advance
Larry
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Re: Battle Cries
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vampirequeen on
Monday, 8th August 2005 @ 01:21:51 PM AEST
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wow thats an intense write Larry.
awsome job on this.
hugs
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Re: Battle Cries
(User Rating: 1 )
by vibes2go on
Monday, 8th August 2005 @ 02:20:54 PM AEST
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| I apologize .. you're right :`( |
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Re: Battle Cries
(User Rating: 1 )
by colinbaker62 on
Monday, 8th August 2005 @ 03:36:16 PM AEST
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Very good Larry.
Colin |
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Re: Battle Cries
(User Rating: 1 )
by Willofree on
Monday, 8th August 2005 @ 04:24:53 PM AEST
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This is a powerful and very empathic, it seems, write about someone who has suffered greatly. The emotions of sadness and pain are conveyed very intensely. I would say this poem serves as a tribute to someone who suffered much injustice.
A masterful expression, my friend
Will |
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Re: Battle Cries
(User Rating: 1 )
by MorningDove on
Monday, 8th August 2005 @ 05:16:36 PM AEST
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Larry, I am so deeply sorry for the pain of your friend and the pain that you feel and suffer with him. Only a true friend is capable of that. Some people do care for others besides themselves. I know how caring you and so many other were to me in my time of need. I try to pass it on. Know my thoughts are for you both and I shall send up prayers to the Great Spirit to alleviate some of his problems to make his life better. Big hugs and lots of emotional support. You know how to reach me. I am here if you just need a place to vent.
Rita |
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Re: Battle Cries
(User Rating: 1 )
by LovingWhispers on
Monday, 8th August 2005 @ 07:10:08 PM AEST
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Not for one moment did I think this was about you.I did wonder could it be our general lee wasted and hoped it was not. :)
Nothing veilled,but knowing the author has its advantages when coming to an undrestanding of their words.
You know I will take a moment for your friend and you also know I am here.It was a pleasure to make this visit from the manor on the hill and read you again my friend.
Stay well and as for your response to one of the above comments...LMAO..your pen when provoked can be a slap to the face.OUCH!
hugs and love
blondie |
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Re: Battle Cries
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jane_Doe on
Tuesday, 9th August 2005 @ 01:09:56 AM AEST
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| The rhyming was brilliant, the figurative language was amazing, and the message that this poem carried was so powerful, so beautiful... I loved it. I REALLY REALLY really did. |
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Re: Battle Cries
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Tuesday, 9th August 2005 @ 03:36:59 AM AEST
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Well now! This is vivid poetry. I recognize the feeling so very well, and have put my pen to some very similar writing. But this, while striking a chord that I've heard of old, makes a new music. Well written! May the warrior's blade yet live to swing again.
Aurë entuluva!
Andrew |
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Re: Battle Cries
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 9th August 2005 @ 01:15:05 PM AEST
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Makes me want to stand up and rush in to the rescue.....sigh...very emotive piece Larry.
Done I dare say with your usual skill that lifts this reader above and beyond the norm.
Thank you. |
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Re: Battle Cries
(User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on
Tuesday, 9th August 2005 @ 04:06:17 PM AEST
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Amazing poem my dear friend and I am sorry
for the pain your friend is currently going
through, but you have written a wonderful
tribute to him which should be commended
instead of belitteld. I loved the rhyme scheme
and how this masterpiece started off.
"Broken man with sunken eyes
He's heard the drums and battle cries"
Wonderful... thanks for sharing this.
Bobo (Joel) |
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Re: Battle Cries
(User Rating: 1 )
by slogan on
Wednesday, 7th December 2005 @ 04:32:51 PM AEST
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| I really like this one...jh |
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