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slave

Contributed by seci on Friday, 5th August 2005 @ 03:43:24 PM in AEST
Topic: selfstruggles



drowning in my own ocean of water as if it seems
bruised underneath the surface of my skin
no need to pretend
treated wrongly because of who i am
working hard to move from the dirt that disguises my life , but others are pulling me down as if they don't give a damn
i can't cry
i'm all cried out, why God are they treating me like this
God i didn't mean to hurt you in no way
speak to me in my sleep
my clouds that were blue are again bound to this nasty gray
they want to beat me until i'm nearly dead
they want to hang me by my head
God they want let me be free
WHY ME, WHY ME DEAR LORD
WHY ME
my mother said that life wouldn't be easy,but why so hard
hiding from the world in a tunnel of safety
relying on my poetry
but for a reason or another i'm running from my grave
running so fast thati'm losing myself in the wind
freedom, lord, please send
i feel like my life is hidden in a box
kepted sacred, not meant to be unlock
i'm so tired of falling
i'm so tired of being beat so bad that i'm crawling
i will continue to let go of my problems by the ocean, i waiting for the next wave
waving, waving, waving
underneath i'm a slave





Copyright © seci ... [ 2005-08-05 15:43:24]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: slave (User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on Friday, 5th August 2005 @ 04:06:34 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
You expressed yourself fairly well in this piece Seci. If the stanzas were a bit more conformed it would read better though...Also, capitalize girl! You're too good of a writer to have lowercase letters at the beginning of your lines...A couple favourite lines:

"My clouds that were blue are again bound to this nasty gray"

AND...

"My mother said that life wouldn't be easy, but why so hard"

Nicely done; keep it up you have talent : )

Scorp.


Re: slave (User Rating: 1 )
by MorningDove on Friday, 5th August 2005 @ 10:42:52 PM AEST
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Don't give up on life. Somewhere, someday as you round a corner everything will change. Just keep writing out all the hurt and pain and pump it through as it comes. As Scorpy said 'you are a good writer'. Don't give up on writing or life and just wait for the happiness that is coming to you.

Rita




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