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Nothing More
Contributed by
Zandria
on
Friday, 5th August 2005 @ 08:20:39 AM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
The emptyness
that has been left behind
overwhelms the senses completely
It causes the chest to swell with air
air thick and heavy with despair
longing
unrequieted need
Eyes fill
and blur the vision
Face collapses into itself with
the strength of the sobs that
wish to rend themselves from every pore
But this is all foolish and wasted
The lonliness doubled by this realization
The monumental effort for self-control leaves everything
trembling and
cold
Upon the much anticipated return
there will be smiles, greetings, well wishes
and
Nothing more
Copyright ©
Zandria
... [
2005-08-05 08:20:39]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Nothing More
(User Rating: 1 )
by pUnKa_RaCh on
Friday, 5th August 2005 @ 08:50:25 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Powerful and I sensed the desperation in this write...and a hint of tragedy.
A pleasure to read, brilliantly written. Fluent and it all came together well.
Good job! |
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Re: Nothing More
(User Rating: 1 )
by xxbreathlessx on
Friday, 5th August 2005 @ 10:39:08 AM AEST
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| great descriptions! and i really liked the ending! you did a good job on this write, the reader can really sense what the author is going through |
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Re: Nothing More
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jen54 on
Friday, 5th August 2005 @ 10:42:25 AM AEST
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I liked this poem a lot. You could feel the emotions when you read it. I like how you broght it all together at the end. Keep it up.
-Jen
P.S. could read my poem This School Year and comment it would mean a lot to me. Thanks. |
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Re: Nothing More
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 5th August 2005 @ 12:15:31 PM AEST
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| I agree with what everyone else has said. Great way of presenting your emotions and making the reader feel them too. |
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Re: Nothing More
(User Rating: 1 )
by jmpy84 on
Friday, 5th August 2005 @ 01:26:05 PM AEST
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| this was a sad poem great job |
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Re: Nothing More
(User Rating: 1 )
by MorningDove on
Friday, 5th August 2005 @ 01:55:21 PM AEST
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I feel loss and lonliness where once there was love and happy life. Leaves one wondering the story in between the two. Very nice write here.
smiles,
Rita |
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Re: Nothing More
(User Rating: 1 )
by xfaggotx on
Saturday, 6th August 2005 @ 06:04:46 PM AEST
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amazing.
i feel it.
i see the images.
this is a POEM, to me.
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Re: Nothing More
(User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on
Thursday, 11th August 2005 @ 12:40:29 AM AEST
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a Message)
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..so entire is my faith,
that this embodies sadness as a whole..
that I would find it impossible to find
another write that would even come close..
it's brilliant.
great diction-
it truly is..sadness.
B
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Re: Nothing More
(User Rating: 1 )
by Wachumiri on
Saturday, 13th August 2005 @ 01:36:38 AM AEST
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Very well written, my friend, very well written. Your heart you´ve opened, so all can see your pain. Yopu trust us a great deal.
Take care, ok.
David |
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