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A Threnody, Perhaps
Contributed by
Eve
on
Tuesday, 2nd August 2005 @ 06:30:22 PM in AEST
Topic:
ambiguous
|
I could lament that I've - possibly? -
Lost a bit of my unsophistication
But I'm not the type to spill my heart
Or the kind to live in abnegation.
My heart is just an organ and it's all in my head
This heart and mind separation has become overrated.
I would tell you that I've - maybe? -
Become a little disentranced
But I'm not one to fill you in
On gloomy happenstance.
Besides, we've all come to be a little jaded
And I wouldn't burden you if you're already weighted.
And, yes, I could very well stand
On the edges of tomorrow's change
And I would never realize
I've the ability to rearrange.
Running circles is nothing of cost
To those afraid of withstanding loss.
I might say that I've - probably? -
Been equivocating, too
But wouldn't it be awful
If I had to admit that to you?
Copyright ©
Eve
... [
2005-08-02 18:30:22]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: A Threnody, Perhaps
(User Rating: 1 )
by Overstated on
Tuesday, 2nd August 2005 @ 06:55:31 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| this is good really good... i need to read this again... superb! |
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Re: A Threnody, Perhaps
(User Rating: 1 )
by vibes2go on
Tuesday, 2nd August 2005 @ 09:48:21 PM AEST
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| great write. keep up the good work. |
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Re: A Threnody, Perhaps
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Tuesday, 2nd August 2005 @ 11:49:13 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Nicely done, Eve! I enjoyed this very much... it's very well thought out/presented... yet did not seem at all coerced. Moreover, it makes an awful lot of sense to me... my brain is wired similarly, I think.
Your title drew me in and your conclusion sealed the deal... just as it should be. Excellent.
~Snemmy~ |
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Re: A Threnody, Perhaps
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vitreous_Soul on
Thursday, 15th December 2005 @ 03:06:03 AM AEST
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a Message)
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I enjoyed the 4/2/4/2 structure of the stanzas, as it enhanced the piece to give more impact. You never fail to impress.
Of course, strip that away and you are left with distilled emotion, in a pure form. And no amount of studying can teach your way with writing--this'll stick with me for quite some time.
Keep writing or eat at Mcdonald's,
-V.S. |
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