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In. Out. In. Out.
Contributed by
xxbreathlessx
on
Tuesday, 2nd August 2005 @ 04:57:16 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
My thoughts collide with the sound of my breath.
In. Out. In. Out.
I become mesmerized by moments that play
Repetitive in my mind,
Every detail engraving itself further deeper into
The depth of my memory.
Only one glance at yesterday and I’m gone,
Disappearing into a shot of laughter,
Echoing,
Bouncing off of walls,
Chiming against the winds push.
In. Out. In. Out.
Hopelessly addicted to those yesterday’s
That lit the midnight sky.
Its beauty so powerful,
diamonds shy away ,
and stars grow green with envy.
Holding on to each minute,
Each second,
I truly felt alive.
IN.
Cradling the smiles that will out do any jewel on earth.
OUT.
Reaching for that moment when mid-air
Whispers created the giggle’s birth.
IN.
Realizing there’s a reason for every little thing.
OUT.
Forgetting who I was in a blink of an eye,
A flutter of a wing.
Copyright ©
xxbreathlessx
... [
2005-08-02 16:57:16]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: In. Out. In. Out.
(User Rating: 1 )
by suicidal_imbecile on
Tuesday, 2nd August 2005 @ 05:21:40 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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rank, i get those too, except for the fact when i remember i don't laugh. i liked this poem. very creative
kate |
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Re: In. Out. In. Out.
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Tuesday, 2nd August 2005 @ 05:42:09 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
Wow, excellent!! This is wonderful from beginning to end. The format you wrote this in, with the creative style, I love it! The second stanza stood out the most for me, and the IN. OUT. scheme near the end...Well done on the humbling ending too...
Scorp. |
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Re: In. Out. In. Out.
(User Rating: 1 )
by JennyFruFru on
Tuesday, 2nd August 2005 @ 08:47:56 PM AEST
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a Message)
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i like the way you wrote this... its very vivid... i can picture it ... the breathing and all the thoughts and emotions behind it... just take a deep breathe and count to ten they tell you...
your words are very true... :) :) :) |
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Re: In. Out. In. Out.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Overstated on
Wednesday, 3rd August 2005 @ 04:38:34 PM AEST
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a Message)
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some touching powerful lines - i loved lines like 'Hopelessly addicted to those yesterday’s
That lit the midnight sky.
Its beauty so powerful,
diamonds shy away ,' really vivid powerful images lye within your poems |
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