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Make a Wish
Contributed by
hauntedscorp
on
Tuesday, 2nd August 2005 @ 01:37:23 PM in AEST
Topic:
DreamsandWishes
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Make a wish
Make a wish upon a star
know I'll grant it though near or far
Have sweet dreams
Have sweet dreams of me and you
here's a picture...have a preview
Catch a kiss
Catch a kiss sent through the air
accept my love, or do you dare?
Enjoy your fun
Enjoy your fun till I come about
but when I arrive they'll be no doubt
Try to resist
Try to resist a love like this
I'll have you surrender with just one kiss
Love me fierce
Love me fierce; don't hold back
as an enticing lover I do not lack
Say you're mine
Say you're mine and I'll be yours
two hearts mended, our love restores
Copyright ©
hauntedscorp
... [
2005-08-02 13:37:23]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Make a Wish
(User Rating: 1 )
by xthrewmyluvawayx on
Tuesday, 2nd August 2005 @ 01:44:25 PM AEST
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| hey that was beautiful...i really enjoyed reading it....it made me smile...it was really cute...keep up the great work!!!. |
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Re: Make a Wish
(User Rating: 1 )
by ForeverAlone on
Tuesday, 2nd August 2005 @ 01:47:42 PM AEST
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A beaut Scorp, only thing i would change is the double saying of the first line of each stanza, it sounds better (to me at least =]) if you would have just made the italics in the line and then removed the double of it, the seperate one, Blah, Am I making any sense?..Shakes head*..great job nontheless Scorp.
~Clark |
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Re: Make a Wish
(User Rating: 1 )
by Alibi on
Tuesday, 2nd August 2005 @ 02:39:15 PM AEST
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| This was a light, enjoyable read. The emotions came across tender and loving. I liked the repeated word theme, and the format you wrote this in. Dreams really do come true, so never give up! |
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Re: Make a Wish
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 2nd August 2005 @ 02:58:22 PM AEST
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| Wow what a most beautifull emotional poem, I loved it. SLipSiX. Awesome write Scorp. |
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Re: Make a Wish
(User Rating: 1 )
by Lancaster on
Tuesday, 2nd August 2005 @ 06:45:05 PM AEST
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| ohmy scorp, this was just a fantastic poem, staright and to the point, no hodden agendas...i loved it...it was just perfect |
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Re: Make a Wish
(User Rating: 1 )
by Overstated on
Tuesday, 2nd August 2005 @ 07:11:16 PM AEST
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this is a well executed piece of work - how long did this poem take to create? i think it either took seconds or months - no inbetween in my opinion! anyways i loved the ending it fitted the piece so well - i know i will re read this piece for sometime! nice work...
feel free to comment on my work also at: http://www.your-poetry.com/modules.php?name=Your_Account&op=userinfo&username=overstated
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Re: Make a Wish
(User Rating: 1 )
by xxbreathlessx on
Tuesday, 2nd August 2005 @ 07:45:38 PM AEST
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| aww thats so beautiful. i love how you repeat the line you say above. (i couldhave worded that better but you know what i mean right?) anyways, another GREAT write as always. loved it. |
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Re: Make a Wish
(User Rating: 1 )
by Willofree on
Tuesday, 2nd August 2005 @ 08:00:07 PM AEST
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Wonderful love poem, and it has a really good flow. I like the style and structure of the poem as well. There is a playful challange to the write, which makes it fun to read.
Well done, Scorp
Will |
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Re: Make a Wish
(User Rating: 1 )
by solosoul on
Wednesday, 3rd August 2005 @ 12:36:30 AM AEST
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| very nice write ! keep it up :) |
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Re: Make a Wish
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 3rd August 2005 @ 12:50:59 AM AEST
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(((Scorp)))) this is inspirational !!!! You open your heart to someone and that is beautiful!!!! Go for it!!!
Hugs Leia36 |
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Re: Make a Wish
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Wednesday, 3rd August 2005 @ 03:31:44 AM AEST
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As always so brillantly written and expressed dearest Scorp. Superb and definately a poem to be reread over and over again.
U have an absolutely amazing style of writing Scorp. Keep it up my dear friend.
Hugs,
Dreamer |
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Re: Make a Wish
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 3rd August 2005 @ 08:39:39 AM AEST
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Yet another awesome write from the Scorp!!! I really really like ecvery word of this but this line is my favorite:
"Try to resist a love like this
I'll have you surrender with just one kiss".
Too kewl, Scorp.
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Re: Make a Wish
(User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on
Wednesday, 3rd August 2005 @ 08:12:30 PM AEST
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Man.. Scorp..
several moving writes coming together as
one spectacular one!
..written with a style and verse all your own
my friend..it's excellent..
very well written.
B |
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Re: Make a Wish
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 4th August 2005 @ 08:16:44 PM AEST
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intelligent writing
makes me want to go wish on a star
right now lol
ive gotten better at writing now so
i can see how good your poems really are now and they are GOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!
keep up the great writing |
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Re: Make a Wish
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 4th August 2005 @ 08:17:58 PM AEST
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i forgot to say a big 5 for you
oh yeah you got a 5
time to dance I got a five oh yeah its
all mine oh yeah lol |
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Re: Make a Wish
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Friday, 5th August 2005 @ 09:17:16 PM AEST
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A beautifull, breataking write.
Sounds like someone is gonna get lucky.
huggs, big smiles,
emy |
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Re: Make a Wish
(User Rating: 1 )
by reflections on
Thursday, 11th August 2005 @ 01:10:25 PM AEST
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Wow Scorp!
How could anyone resist, or escape, the reality of a dream such as this? It’s what every man seeks, but usually finds only in delusional visions buried deep in his most coveted world of fantasy. I captured my dream fifty-one years ago, so I know how few of you actually exist. I hope the object of your dreams also come true. Truly beautiful.
John
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Re: Make a Wish
(User Rating: 1 )
by Writting_Fever on
Sunday, 18th September 2005 @ 06:03:50 PM AEST
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Great write! It made me smile. I wish someone would say that to me, geez! lol
Sarah |
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Re: Make a Wish
(User Rating: 1 )
by tonydread on
Friday, 23rd September 2005 @ 01:32:58 AM AEST
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| Strong write....impressive write. so when u help me. i get many offer but make u best. |
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