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Hook
Contributed by
Freak-of-the-Week
on
Tuesday, 2nd August 2005 @ 11:32:52 AM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
This will never leave my mind,
That doesn`t stand a chance;
Gone before I turned around,
And got a second glance.
Gone before I said good-bye,
And gone before I knew;
Gone before I saw the truth,
That all things were untrue.
No stranger to this mystery,
Of having loved and lost;
Just one more push back towards the edge
That`s waiting to be crossed.
Wearing thin to discontent,
Stretched far beyond my means;
About to fall straight through myself,
And lose all in between...
You give an inch, they take a mile,
And kindly ask for more;
Knowing that you have no strength,
Or sense of pride in store.
Keep running `round, it won`t be found,
You let them get their way;
Your love was blind, and you will find,
It often makes you pay.
The price, not cheap, the product foul,
The lesson, cold as ice -
You can choose to trust one once,
But never trust one twice.
Those people want to break your heart,
And sell you back the pieces;
Those people want to stop your faith,
Until your will, it ceases.
But of all the people who stab your back,
There`s one held high above;
They`re the one you hate the most,
The person that you love.
Copyright ©
Freak-of-the-Week
... [
2005-08-02 11:32:52] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Hook
(User Rating: 1 ) by vibes2go on
Tuesday, 2nd August 2005 @ 11:48:03 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I really was struck by this line ..
"About to fall straight through myself,"
wish it was mine... |
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Re: Hook
(User Rating: 1 ) by sprinter27 on
Tuesday, 2nd August 2005 @ 11:53:42 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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good write... i enjoyed reading this one... you chose the right words and expressed yourself well. and this is true-- i know from my own experiences. i just hope that you find someone who doesn't stab you in the back... good write, keep up the good work!
~sprints |
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Re: Hook
(User Rating: 1 ) by Monkeybones99 on
Tuesday, 2nd August 2005 @ 12:55:35 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I would like to say thank you...this poem expressed exactly what I'm dealing with.....it's good to know I'm not the only one that feels this way. |
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Re: Hook
(User Rating: 1 ) by In_a_while on
Tuesday, 2nd August 2005 @ 01:24:54 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Extremely well put together containing some of the best rhyming and emotional content i've ever read!
I thought the last stanza was the most amazing thing.. just great!
I also liked the line "falling straight through myself" very introspective
keep up the excellent writing.
dw |
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Re: Hook
(User Rating: 1 ) by deadheadpoet on
Tuesday, 2nd August 2005 @ 01:32:19 PM AEST (User
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Hello, This was a wonderful write. I stopped to read it because I really liked your name "Freak-of-the-week. I got such a nice surprise when I read your work. There were so many great lines in here. For example: The 4th stanza is just excellent. The 7th stanza also spoken quite well and the 8th too. Very nice piece of writing. I'll have to look for more from the freak. I too consider myself a freak, a very happy hippie one! Peace Laura |
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Re: Hook
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 2nd August 2005 @ 01:40:42 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Beautiful... I don't have a favourite line because I love it all!!! A great write... |
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Re: Hook
(User Rating: 1 ) by all_that_i_can_be on
Tuesday, 2nd August 2005 @ 02:54:58 PM AEST (User
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you did an amazing job with this poem. the whole thing is wonderful. |
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Re: Hook
(User Rating: 1 ) by Justintears on
Tuesday, 2nd August 2005 @ 05:46:38 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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With every line, i kept seeing myself more and more in it !!!! Without a doubt, an amazing work.
The " About to fall straight through myself, and lose all in between..."
... pure poetic grace..
Well done*
~justin~
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Re: Hook
(User Rating: 1 ) by THORN on
Wednesday, 3rd August 2005 @ 06:43:11 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I don't want to start analyzing this poem and being critical because it was such a fantastic write! I really enjoyed it, fantastic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Absolutely true!! Keep that ink flowing!!
Nice choice of words 'n' rhyme too!!
Cheers,
-xXRayeXx |
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Re: Hook
(User Rating: 1 ) by justme03 on
Saturday, 6th August 2005 @ 12:37:03 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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this is AWESOME! ur the best poet i have read poems from on here. usually i read a poem i really liek from a person then i read moer from them and its not as good. but with u, every poem i have read from u is so amazing. i wish i had a talent as promising as yours.
luv Kortnie
(ur #1 fan) lol |
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Re: Hook
(User Rating: 1 ) by russ-dawg on
Sunday, 7th August 2005 @ 04:41:10 PM AEST (User
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tghis poem sucked you will never write as good as me why don't you keep your poems to yourself next time!..................................................................................................................................................................haha joking i love this poem too, you can write:)) and oh no still no MCR!:( |
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Re: Hook
(User Rating: 1 ) by shutterfly2004 on
Tuesday, 29th November 2005 @ 10:40:10 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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This was good!
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