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Scars
Contributed by
Adrianna
on
Monday, 1st August 2005 @ 08:00:26 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
The pain sears through my skin everyday
This scar won’t heal
It cuts deeper into me everyday
Sometimes I don’t know how much longer I can take it
I want this scar to heal
I want this pain to stop
I try to heal this scar
But it won’t stop
This pain won’t stop
Everyday this scar cuts deeper
It pierces through my skin
I can’t stop this anymore
Copyright ©
Adrianna
... [
2005-08-01 20:00:26]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Scars
(User Rating: 1 )
by HatchetGirl on
Monday, 1st August 2005 @ 11:50:14 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| It's a little short... but in the end you get the point out nicely... Don't change a thing, it really is awesome. |
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Re: Scars
(User Rating: 1 )
by EmoDCgirl36 on
Wednesday, 3rd August 2005 @ 12:32:55 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| All right. I'm your friend and friends critique each other. This wasn't one of your best poems. Short, yes but a lot of people have short poems. The thing is is that all it's talking about is this cut. Where did you get it? And what is the cut and pain referring to? Add these kinds of things to your poems and people will understand and may feel bad for you(haha, just joking). But if you do something that is not really their but like your emotions then you've got to connect it to the problem. Later darling. |
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