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October Pain
Contributed by
poisonpen00ad
on
Sunday, 31st July 2005 @ 06:14:56 AM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
Alas I sit here all alone. I walk the graveyard of my soul. When you left me on my own, I experienced the greatest pain I've ever known. You were the one, the one true light. Now there is darkness and eternal night.
I search the crowd hoping you are there. What did I do, this is so unfair. Now each minute takes an hour to pass. You were the first, you are the last. This pain deepens and starts to grow. Depression now grips my soul. I look at your picture and speak to you, saying how beautiful you are and I love you true. I thought what be had would forever last, but then you left me all too fast. As this trauma engulfs my brain, I know you are not to blame. What we had I wouldn't trade for all the world's gold, such joy cannot be bought or sold. I read old letters written in your pen. I write you back but they will not send. I come to visit you everyday, there is so much I didn’t get to say. Now I place this rose upon your stone, you are there greatest love I’ve ever known. As I stand here in the rain, I beg it to wash away this October pain.........
Copyright ©
poisonpen00ad
... [
2005-07-31 06:14:56]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: October Pain
(User Rating: 1 )
by solosoul on
Sunday, 31st July 2005 @ 11:40:46 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| hey that is one of the most beautiful poems i ever read its as real as it can be. im sorry for your lose i cant say i understand but i can relate in my own way. nothing much i can say but im sorry and i hope you will keep posting! |
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Re: October Pain
(User Rating: 1 )
by nosoup4crr on
Sunday, 31st July 2005 @ 11:55:20 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| i know you probably like your structure...but I think it hinders your poem more than helps it. The Prose poem structure is conducive to telling stories or for poems with no rhyme scheme. If you were to use line breaks, the rhythm of your poem might come out better...and possibly even the meaning. I love the title, and I feel your sincerity in the words. I just think your structure doesn't do justice to the depth of the piece. |
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Re: October Pain
(User Rating: 1 )
by Dusty on
Sunday, 31st July 2005 @ 04:18:07 PM AEST
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I am sure alot of us can identify with this poem, it was very sweet and sad.
Dusty |
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Re: October Pain
(User Rating: 1 )
by brokenwings on
Sunday, 31st July 2005 @ 08:02:39 PM AEST
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i know this pain all to well, the placing of flowers on a grave stone of someone you loved and will never be helb by again, you wrote of this beautifully,
tasha |
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Re: October Pain
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 29th October 2005 @ 04:55:35 PM AEST
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You know, your poems lead me to places in my heart, my life I have lived, the past... so this one reminds me of... how ......
I felt this way when my mother passed away. I looked at every older woman, to try to find her face, there was not one to compare with her, I visited her gravesite everyday, wanting her back. One time, I bought a newer car, my mind forgot, I drove to her house to show her, when I got there, I remembered she was not there, her house was in the graveyard. I so often would want to share with her, I kept forgetting she died. Finally I stopped the visits to the graveyard, I knew just where she was, so I prayed and deep down inside I found her, the Lord has her, so that is where I speak to her. 3 times, she has come to me in a dream, and we talk there... I feel your pain in this write.... no matter how you arranged the words, to me it does not matter because its what you say that matters to me... all of your poems make sense to me... they just do...
Raquel Leah :D |
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