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Lost Girl
Contributed by
xthrewmyluvawayx
on
Sunday, 31st July 2005 @ 02:18:13 AM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
|
I'm going to tell you a story,
about a lost and confused girl,
whose best friend was a razor,
and also her world.
She hurt everyday,
had not one real friend,
she felt she needed to give up,
make her worthless life end.
So she took out the bottle,
one by one she took,
just about 60 pills,
while her life she overlooked.
Then she took out her best friend,
and slowly sliced up her veins,
completing her unfinished story,
of a girl who was in too much pain.
She then forgot to do something,
to write her unloving family a note,
so she took out a pen and paper,
and half in blood she wrote.
"I'm sorry I had to go,
but no one gave enough love,
I couldn't take it anymore,
so I'll be watching from above.
"I just felt out of place,
knew you all didn't care,
so I didn't see a point in staying,
not any point to stay there.
"Don't worry I don't want a funeral,
you know it wouldn't make sense,
I'm not that important,
so throw me over the back fence.
"Although you never loved me,
I always have loved you,
I just didn't want it anymore,
and you know this all is true.
"Again I am very sorry,
give all my stuff away,
don't leave any memories,
but in my heart you'll stay."
She wanted to write more,
but she felt so very weak,
she couldn't keep her self up,
she couldn't even speak.
Her eyes began to get heavy,
and she fell to the floor,
she knew she wouldn't make it,
she wouldn't live anymore.
She knew it was the end,
so she said her last goodbye,
there she layed on her bedroom floor,
as she slowly closed her eyes.
Her parents had found her,
about an hour later,
they saw the letter and read it,
couldn't believe she thought they hate her.
They both fell to the floor,
and burst into tears,
the girl began to realize,
they really did care.
But she didn't understand,
now all of a sudden they cared,
after she had supported herself,
for so many years.
They still had a funeral,
didn't throw her in the yard like she wanted,
there was so many people there,
over 100 she counted.
She then felt bad,
wanting to take back what she had done,
But she knew she couldn't,
for her new life had begun.
Copyright ©
xthrewmyluvawayx
... [
2005-07-31 02:18:13]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Lost Girl
(User Rating: 1 )
by Ineedanap on
Sunday, 31st July 2005 @ 02:23:58 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| Your poem was so sad a beautiful, thank you |
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Re: Lost Girl
(User Rating: 1 )
by eternityandaday4u on
Sunday, 31st July 2005 @ 02:29:17 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| very sad and awful life to have lived but we never ask for what we get. and so we get what is right for us and we either learn to live with it or we find some other solution very sad that this girl like many other girls chose that path.. it is sad but true there are many girls out that are just like that!! so sad she didn't realize untill it was too late... never trust a cow eternity |
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Re: Lost Girl
(User Rating: 1 )
by nosoup4crr on
Sunday, 31st July 2005 @ 03:54:02 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Generally, I'm not a fan of rhyming poetry--I think it restricts vocabulary and meaning. While this might be true, a large part of your piece still held some emotion in it. I think it has more potential. Look it back over, especially the second half, where I think your rhyme got lazy--in some parts of the poem, the rhythm is skewed because your line breaks are a bit off. Try not to have a short line next to a longer one. If you tidy this up, the rhythm will carry your story much more effortlessly. |
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Re: Lost Girl
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eclipse on
Sunday, 31st July 2005 @ 06:50:28 AM AEST
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a Message)
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that's just a beautiful poem. thanks for sharing
luv eclipse xxx |
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