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Inspiration
Contributed by
xxbreathlessx
on
Sunday, 31st July 2005 @ 12:41:00 AM in AEST
Topic:
InspirationalPoems
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Your strength breathes inspiration to me,
So profoundly,
I find myself feeding off your will and courage.
Your knowledge speaks inspiration to me ,
So loudly ,
I ponder your every sigh.
Your weakness stumbles inspiration onto me
as your one hopeful tear falls next to your bended knees.
Your laughter rings inspiration to me
as joy echoes through sound waves and reach my heart.
Your eyes glance inspiration to me
as they speak with blinks of colliding lashes.
Your lips scream inspiration to me
as they mouth words that pierce through noise
and land at the sound of a breaking heart.
Your fists pound inspiration to me
as they blindly hit at misunderstandings.
Your blood seeps inspiration to me
as it crowds alongside your broken tears.
Your soul becomes inspiration to me
as it journeys through life’s mishaps
and still manage to survive.
Keep your heart beating.
Its rhythm- my words,
my words born of your story.
Copyright ©
xxbreathlessx
... [
2005-07-31 00:41:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Inspiration
(User Rating: 1 )
by pUnKa_RaCh on
Sunday, 31st July 2005 @ 12:44:45 AM AEST
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This was a brilliant write.
Moving words, very captivating.
I utterly enjoyed this one.
A splendid masterpiece! |
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Re: Inspiration
(User Rating: 1 )
by Alibi on
Sunday, 31st July 2005 @ 01:27:21 AM AEST
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| I greatly enjoyed reading this! I think you had the proper amount of repetition without being overbearing, and your words gave me visuals as poetry so rightly should. I personally may have done without the last three lines, they didn't fit so well with the rest. You write lovely my dear, keep it up! |
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Re: Inspiration
(User Rating: 1 )
by MorningDove on
Sunday, 31st July 2005 @ 01:42:21 AM AEST
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This is a very pretty poem. I enjoyed reading it and it did flow well. I do feel you overused the word inspiration a bit. Try a thesaurus and see if you can't find other words so that it does not become repetitive. Otherwise a lovely piece of heartfelt work.
Dove |
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Re: Inspiration
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Sunday, 31st July 2005 @ 04:58:26 AM AEST
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I like the way you pulled this piece together, and rather liked the repetition of 'inspiration'. I think the way you worded this was quite creative, and that made the repeated word scheme work...(Which can be a tricky thing!) The intense emotions are captured well too, you really get a sense of absolute infatuation. I must admit, the last 3 lines do tend to stand out from the rest of the poem...It's workable, but in my opinion it would've been better without. I do however think this is a well written poem, and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it : )
Scorp.
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Re: Inspiration
(User Rating: 1 )
by cuddlytiger17 on
Sunday, 31st July 2005 @ 01:20:00 PM AEST
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a Message)
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This is pretty good, I love the repetition, it's so
effective. The images and feelings are well
conveyed. I really liked the lines:
"Your eyes glance inspiration to me
as they speak with blinks of colliding lashes."
They stood out because they're so unique
and creative. Nice write. |
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Re: Inspiration
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 31st July 2005 @ 02:38:40 PM AEST
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This poem brought inspiration to me !!! It is captivating and sweet. What a beautiful thing to feel so strongly for someone...
Hugs Leia36 |
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Re: Inspiration
(User Rating: 1 )
by TeenageDirtbag on
Monday, 1st August 2005 @ 01:55:18 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Wow...this is genious. Definately a masterpiece ^ ^ I really like your use of repitition without causing the write to become monotonous. |
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