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Life is a Long Line
Contributed by
youlied
on
Friday, 29th July 2005 @ 08:02:53 PM in AEST
Topic:
goodbyepoetry
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As we cried together
I felt everything I've ever known
Slip away
And I'm never going back
I saw the flash of life
Swim through the oceans of your eyes
Only to slip away
You're never coming back
I've waited for you
My whole life
Waiting to meet you
Until you finally came
Out of my dream
You fit perfectly
into my puzzle of a life
The missing piece
Recovered
Only to go missing again
I'll wait for you
My whole life
Waiting to go with you
Until you finally come
And take me away
I'll fit perfectly
Into the puzzle of your dreams
For they are mine
As well
I'll never go missing again
I have waited
I am waiting
And I'll never stop waiting.....
Nothing is right without you
Copyright ©
youlied
... [
2005-07-29 20:02:53] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Life is a Long Line
(User Rating: 1 ) by Kie on
Friday, 29th July 2005 @ 08:16:32 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Oh my...My first thoughts honestly were...
How many people think this yet never say this to the person who needs to hear it?
It is honest and raw but delicately worded.
"Nothing is right without you" Oh I know this feeling well.
I'm taken by your poem.
Kie |
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Re: Life is a Long Line
(User Rating: 1 ) by dreamer_4_eternity on
Friday, 29th July 2005 @ 08:34:40 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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wow this piece has emotions pouring out of it's broken seams... I was expecting a poem that said good-bye and was about coping and moving on, but this is the total opposite, not moving on and not coping for you believe this person will be back, but please remember, don't wait your life away, because although this is a pessimistic statement, its a possibility: they may never come back. |
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Re: Life is a Long Line
(User Rating: 1 ) by je2ica3 on
Friday, 29th July 2005 @ 10:30:15 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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good write |
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Re: Life is a Long Line
(User Rating: 1 ) by AnaBanana on
Friday, 29th July 2005 @ 11:18:02 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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this is good i like it |
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Re: Life is a Long Line
(User Rating: 1 ) by rockergirl94 on
Saturday, 30th July 2005 @ 02:05:43 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Wow that was a fantastic poem. It's great to find a poetic who can word things perfectly, but yet can keep the words so simple. I love the lines "I saw the flash of life, Swim through the oceans of your eyes" and "Recovered, Only to go missing again".
It's very thoughtful, and sad but very lovely. Keep up the great work, because this was nothing short of beautful.
-Julie |
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Re: Life is a Long Line
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Sunday, 31st July 2005 @ 04:28:41 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Very nice write.. I like the metaphors.. ty...
RLPoetess : )) |
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