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Clouded
Contributed by
Vampire_Slander
on
Friday, 29th July 2005 @ 07:13:48 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
Oh how time has stopped
this seeming less nothing
but I go on ever thinking
My thoughts ever growing
questions overlapping
never answered
A whirl of thought
this chaos within me
I strive to find meaning
Pools in my mind
drowning thoughts
in essence
A wheel of doubt
surrounds like a cage
holding potential back
Shy away from praise
no sense of oneself
a creative mind.
Copyright ©
Vampire_Slander
... [
2005-07-29 19:13:48]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Clouded
(User Rating: 1 )
by PuppyChow on
Friday, 29th July 2005 @ 07:41:56 PM AEST
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| nice. flows, captures feeling, and definitly gets the reader thinking. i enjoyed it. keep it up. |
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Re: Clouded
(User Rating: 1 )
by je2ica3 on
Friday, 29th July 2005 @ 10:33:34 PM AEST
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| good write |
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Re: Clouded
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kie-Kie on
Friday, 29th July 2005 @ 11:16:51 PM AEST
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It flows nicely... I do hope that you have more self-esteem than this poem lets on... you're a wonderful poet
Love ya'll,
~Kiela~ |
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Re: Clouded
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vampire_Slander on
Friday, 29th July 2005 @ 11:21:45 PM AEST
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| Thanks for the comments, and as for the self esteem.. some times. |
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Re: Clouded
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Friday, 29th July 2005 @ 11:22:36 PM AEST
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| a good self awareness poem, we all need those, because sometimes our stories should only be told poetically. i think this is a bit rough in some places, but i think that does actually work better for the write than smooth flowing. |
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Re: Clouded
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 30th July 2005 @ 01:20:43 AM AEST
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"questions overlapping"
image -provoking, figurative expression.
beautiful!
"pools in my mind
drowning thoughts
in essence"
-the epicentre of the entirety of this piece.
Abstruse and layered!
"A wheel of doubt"
*nods* intriguing metaphor...refreshing.
The last 3 lines...I can very much relate to.
And yes, what a creative and inspiring mind, that has produced this work.
Well done :) |
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